The French refer to orgasm as “la petite mort” or the little death. I have always been a Francophile and obviously I am also a fan of orgasms, so it seems fitting to write of this phenomenon.
The orgasm. The mere mention of the word in mixed company can elicit smiles, sighs, daydreams, anxiety, erections and a host of other emotions. It is quite the buzzword (no pun intended). Is it merely a physical response or it there something more to it? Why is it so easy for some to have an orgasm, while it is elusive for others?
I am no expert, but I can share with you my journey; my love-hate-love-infatuation-adoration relationship with knowing how to arrive at the big O. It’s a path of discovery, trial and error, failed debacles and self-acceptance. First things first…Is orgasm merely a physical response to stimuli that builds up and then ends in release? Or is there a mental component to “cumming”?
For me, I have to be in the right head-space to let go and have an O. If my mind is not stimulated, my body will stage a coup and refuse me a proper ending…almost like a cliffhanger episode on a soap opera. I have to feel connected and present in the moment. I need to feel connected with my partner. And most importantly, I have to feel comfortable in my own skin. Free to say and do what comes naturally. If I feel confined or inhibited in any way, I can see the next exit labeled, “orgasm ahead’ I just cannot get there. And it doesn’t matter who is driving…how fast or slow…it doesn’t matter the route, it’s not happening unless I am mentally there. It may not be this way for everyone. But again…this is just my story of O.
From a purely physical place, I am blessed that I am one of those lucky souls who is able to have multiple orgasms. And for long periods of time. Eventually, the well of bliss will run dry, but I have been known to soak through towels, sheets and mattress protectors. It used to bother me that I “released” so much during my climax, but I’ve learned to embrace it as the gift it is.
Being a submissive who has certain appetite for pain, I have experienced orgasms through powerful scenes. I recall one instance where I was flogged for a long period of time and it caused me to gush everywhere. Afterwards, I felt like I was floating. I was told by my fellow subbies out there, that this is “subspace” a place of euphoria that follows a particularly intense session of play. For me, there is nothing else that compares to this feeling. Which brings me to…
The crying orgasm. Not trying to bring the mood down, but I have experienced orgasms that make me weep. It’s a rare occurrence, but it is beautiful and profound when it happens. I have encountered these white whales when there is a deep emotional bond with my partner. It’s a place of openness and vulnerability that is hard to replicate. It is as real as it gets for me. To experience such pleasure, such release, such emotion and such love.
What do you do when you have an orgasm? Everyone is different…trust me, I have been with my fair share and I’ve seen and heard it all. Some are silent throughout. Some are so loud, you worry about the neighbors calling in a SWAT team. Others are in between.
I’ve been with the newscasters…those who broadcast each and every detail of the scenario, from start to finish. Often it’s not even dirty talk…it’s more like: “my dick is so hard. this is my favorite way to fuck. oh yeah…oh yeah. my dick is about to explode. here it is…here it is…” And not that these types bother me, I rather enjoy hearing what they are experiencing, but if you’re on round two or three, it can get a bit monotonous.
I have vast experience with the “call of the wild” ones. They usually let you know how much they are enjoying you, but trade in the descriptive banter for grunts, growls and feral-sounding screams when they orgasm and unload. I find this type hot as hell. Primal. Earthly. Authentic.
There are the drill instructors. “faster…slower…deeper…ride my cock…take that cock…fuck me…slow it down…give it to me now.” And that’s just the first 30 seconds of the encounter. They are bossy and demanding. And in the right head-space, I love a drill instructor…but I could never enjoy that on a daily basis. Just me, but I think that could become confusing! And when they come, they announce it…every part of it…much like the newscasters.
As for myself…I am a bit loud. I don’t even realize it. I sound a lot like my “call of the wild” counterparts. And on a handful of occasions, I have laughed hysterically during an orgasm. Looking back, that laughter was a close relative to crying. I was so overcome with emotion, that I laughed my cock-filled ass off. But that is a rare happening.
To the women who are reading this…do you experience clitoral orgasms, G-spot orgasms, anal orgasms, or D…all of the above? I have had them all. And the G-spot orgasm is hands-down (no pun there) my favorite. It is unlike any other feeling of pleasure for me. A real bonus is when I have all 3 of these at the same time. That has only happened one time in my life. It was so profound, I had to take a day off of work to process it. It was mind-blowing and life-changing. And I am always ready to relive the experience….Really ready. It’s got me daydreaming.
You know what? I could use that day off.