sadist

No Pain…No Gain

Usually when you see the words “no pain, no gain” it is about exercise, growth and discipline. In my case, it was quite literal.(Warning…this post may not be for everyone. It is intense and graphic and long.  Proceed with caution…)

During the Spring of 2014, I went on a quest for enlightenment. There was nothing taboo on my to-do list.  I wanted to explore.  I wanted to experience.  I wanted to feel alive again. I needed to be released from captivity.  I didn’t know where to start.  There were NO prospects at work.  Lee and I were still in contact, but I wanted someone new.  I wanted new experiences.  So I created an “Alt.com” account. (For those of you who aren’t familiar, Alt.com is a “dating” site for those who are into BDSM, and/or different kinks/fetishes)

And my inbox was inundated with enlightenment. About 100 messages later, I filtered out a couple of interesting propositions.  The one that really caught my attention was the sadist. He was unapologetic and direct. He was aroused by inflicting pain on his subjects. He did clarify that he did not go to extremes, but helped people release their most dark and deviant desires. I was reluctant but intrigued.  After all, I’d done just about everything on my sexual bucket list, many times over, so I felt that I needed to expand my perspective.

After talking and messaging for over a month, we agreed to meet one weekend.  I wanted to ensure my safety, so we exchanged pertinent information.  I verified his full name, address, date of birth, occupation, and had a friend run a background check on him.  Yes, I know…a bit overboard, but his check was clean and he was who he said he was.  My friend knew exactly where we were going and I was to check in after we met, so that she would know I was okay.  He lived about an hour from me, and reserved a hotel suite for our adventures. I liked that we were meeting in a neutral location. It gave me an added sense of security.  It made me feel  like I wouldn’t end up in the bottom of a well with him screaming, “put the fucking lotion in the basket.” I also liked that he sent me an actual questionnaire, regarding my limits and curiosities.  We reviewed it together in detail so we would be on the same page.  He knew my limits and he knew my kinks. And I had no idea what to expect.

I was to arrive in the room first and get ready for the evening.  He asked that I wear a black dress and heels. So I happily obliged and took my time getting ready.  I had no idea what I was preparing for, but I was giddy with anticipation. He knew I was nervous and asked me to go to the hotel bar for a drink, before he got there. I was almost finished with the third Cosmo when I received a text, “I am here. Come now.”

I tossed back the drink, cashed out and made my way to the room.  He was waiting at the door for me, with a large imposing black bag and a sadistic grin. I walked towards him realizing that there was still time to turn and run the other way. But instead, I walked with confidence and purpose, eager to release the demons that lurked deep within my bones.

“Hello, Kevin.  I am Tess.  Nice to meet you”

He had an imposing stature, tall and muscular.  He was dressed in black slacks and a black shirt. His sandy blonde hair was slightly messy and he smelled divine. “It’s nice to meet you, Tess.  Are you ready?” he asked as I put the card in the door.

I smiled and said, “I think so.” and with that he put his arm around my waist and walked me into the room, backing me up against the wall. He said, “Are you ready is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.  I need an answer now.  If you don’t want to go further, it’s okay. But I need to know NOW.”

He took the breath away from me. I was scared and aroused and I looked into his brown eyes and said, “The answer is yes.  Yes I am ready.”

“Good. What is the safeword we discussed?” he asked.

“Red is to stop.  Yellow to slow down.”

“Good girl.  Take off the dress.  Leave on the heels.”

I slowly unzipped my dress and let it fall to my feet.  I stared into his eyes as I removed my bra and eased my lacy black panties down my legs. I stood before him, completely naked, in heels.

He walked towards me and clutched my throat as he kissed me. “You are so beautifully sexy and vulnerable right now. I am going to fuck you till you can’t walk.  I am going to hurt you and allow to let go of yourself. On your knees, now.”

I fell to my knees and looked up at him.  He stroked my chin as he pulled his hard cock from his pants. “Suck until I tell you to stop.” he ordered.  I took him into my mouth as he pushed himself farther and farther, aggressively fucking my throat. It was a messy scene of saliva and tears with smeared lipstick and runny mascara, as he made my eyes water with every thrust.  “Your tears are sexy as hell. This is just the beginning. Stand up and put your hands on the table, spread your legs.”

He stood behind me and I could feel his hard cock on my body. He growled in my ear, “You are not allowed to cum, until I tell you.  Do you understand?”

I said, “Yes, I understand” and with that, he pushed my face down onto the table and began fucking me. He started massaging my clit while he fucked my hole and I felt myself beginning to climax.  I gritted my teeth and concentrated on not having an orgasm, but he would not stop. I was panicked because I didn’t know how to stop myself from going over the edge. I said, “I don’t know if I can stop. Please let me cum.”

He laughed and said, “No. You have to take it. If you cum, I will stop. I will leave. And we will not go any further.”

I didn’t want that to happen, as I wanted to push limits with him, so I regained composure and focused on taking his torment.  A few minutes later, he stopped and told me to grab a towel and get on the bed.  As I began walking towards the bedroom, he snapped, “Crawl to me, slut.” I still had my heels on and I clenched the towel with my teeth as I crawled to the bed.

“Very nice. Now give me your hands.” he swiftly placed leather cuffs on my wrists and tied me to the bed. I felt nervous by what was coming next when I heard the sound of him rummaging through his bag of tricks.  He pulled out several items and I felt a sense of terror as I heard him approach me. I was face down on the bed, with my hands tied and I could not see what was coming.

“Open your legs wide.” He felt the wetness of my cunt and began fingering me.  He abruptly stopped and then fingered my ass.  He stopped and I could hear him squirting lube on his fingers as he assaulted my tight hole again. He was preparing me for something and I was excited by what was coming next.

He walked towards my face and showed me what was coming next.  He was holding a large dildo in his hand.  He stroked my cheek with it and said, “I am about to fuck your ass with this huge, 11 inch dildo. You are going to take every inch of it, aren’t you?  Oh, it is going to hurt, isn’t it?”  I nodded.  “What’s your safeword, Tess?”

“Red to stop, yellow to slow down.” I said.  My heart was racing. He began to push the large instrument in my ass, slowly, twisting it to add to the torment.  He kept whispering, “Take it, Tess.  Take it all.” and ironically, I found the sound of his voice comforting.  I relaxed as he filled me. Once I’d taken the entire length of the dildo, he told me to hold it there.

He massaged my feet with one hand as he pushed the dildo into my ass in a slow rhythm. I loved the pain. I craved each thrust. I felt myself getting close to the edge, when he stopped to retrieve something from his bag.  I heard him open a package and then felt something cold on my foot, like an alcohol pad, between my toes.

“On your questionnaire, you had a strong curiosity about needle play.  I am about put needles between your toes, while I continue to violate your ass. So I will need you to be completely still.”

I shuddered at the thought and yet I felt aroused.  He showed me that each needle was sterile packed in an individual package (did I mention that he was physician’s assistant). He opened the space between my great toe and the other toe, wiped it down again and inserted a 25g needled in between my toes.  It was intoxicating.  The feeling of pressure, of penetration, of a slight prick of pain all while being ass-fucked was almost too much.  He kept at his work, and before long I had needles in both feet, a dildo in my ass and his cock in my hole.  He held my feet up as he fucked me, his body driving the dildo farther inside me.  I was so overcome with sensation that I began to come unglued.  I started to weep.  Not from the pain, but from the pleasure…from the release.

He was aroused by my tears and picked up the pace, savagely fucking me. “Tess, you are allowed to cum now.  Let go.  Let it go.” And with that I let go and had the most intense orgasm of my life. I gushed all over, the bed was soaked and so was my pillow, from where I’d been crying. He came immediately after and slowly removed the dildo from my ass and the needles from my toes.  He untied my wrists and removed the cuffs.  He turned me to face him.  I was still emotional from the experience.

Without a single word, he got a warm washcloth and wiped my tears.  He kissed my forehead as he began to clean me up. His touch was tender and affectionate.  He whispered in my ear, “You were amazing tonight.  You truly let yourself go.  How do you feel?’

My voice was shaky from the intensity of what had just happened.  Teary-eyed I looked at him and said, “I don’t know how I feel.  I feel confused, but I feel content.”

He scooped me up in his arms and held me as we drifted off to sleep. I awoke to him packing his bag.  He sat on the bed next to me. “You are probably going to feel some confusion over what you experienced tonight. I am here to talk to you whenever you need me. This is just the beginning of what we could do together.  If you want to explore more, I will be here.  If you don’t, that’s okay.  I will understand either way.  This is not for everyone.  But your response was beautiful and liberating. I do hope we can see each other again.”

And with that, he placed a bottle of water on the nightstand, tucked me into the covers like a child, kissed my forehead and left. A couple of minutes later I received a text, “room service comes at 7:30 with breakfast.  You need to eat something, Tess.  Text me when you get home.”

To be continued…

cuffs

(Photo credit, Pinterest)

Wicked Wednesdays with Tess, Presents…Diabolically Yours

(Due to some unforeseen technical issues, I am wrapping up the Wicked Wednesday Series, a little late.  But I hope you find this worth the wait. Presenting a tale from my own darkside…the devil is in the details.  Hope you enjoy!)

The Halloween season always brought him to mind. It had been years since they’d been together. Regardless of space and time, he left an indelible mark on her psyche. This man, stirred her to the core unlike anyone else. And on this dark and desolate evening, she pined for him.

He was an enigma and almost seemed as if he was not of this world. Larger than life. There was a darkness within him that drew her in. It engulfed her like the flames and embers from hell itself. The burn….the wonderful slow burn.

I wonder where he is now, she thought to herself. And in the same breath, she dismissed the thought as a lost cause. He had moved far away and reconnecting would be difficult. For all she knew…he was married with kids and a lovely wife, living in the suburbs…blending in with the rest of society.

But again…this was him. He wasn’t the type to “blend in” anywhere. He was a different breed of man and not the type to settle down. She knew that type of personality well….as she found herself still single. She could never find anyone who understood and embraced her restless spirit.

After reliving their tumultuous affair in her mind, she decided to look him up online. It only took a few minutes and she found him. He was not married with kids. And he was not halfway across the country. He was less than an hour away. Her stomach stirred….her heart raced. What to do? Do I contact him…she thought. Do I leave it alone?

And before she knew it, her phone rang. There was no number, it simply read “unknown” and she surmised it was likely a telemarketer, as she had been bombarded with them since changing her number. After a few seconds, she noticed the caller left a voicemail message. And she also noticed it was after 10:00 pm…not a typical time for such calls.

She played the voicemail and immediately recognized the voice. It was dark and brooding. It was HIM! It had been less than fifteen minutes since she’d looked him up. Her cell number was new. How could he have found her so quickly? How did he know? Was he thinking of her too? It just seemed weird and predestined.

His message was short, “It’s me. You know who I am. I was just thinking of you and would love to talk. Call me.” Just hearing his voice gave her butterflies. She composed herself and dialed his number.

“Hello, Elise. I am happy you called.”

“Hello, Jude. How are you?” she asked

“Better now. I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately. I would love to see you. When can we meet?” he was direct and to-the-point, as always.

Taken aback and burning with excitement, she managed to stutter her response, “I am free tomorrow, if you are?”

He paused for a few seconds, “That works, but I was thinking about now.”

She looked around at the disarray in her house. She had been working long hours all week and hadn’t tidied up at all. There’s no way she could have him over, but she found herself saying, “Okay. Good”

“Great. I’ll pick you up in an hour.” And before she could respond, he hung up the call. Does he even know where she lives? She attempted to call him back and the number he gave her was not valid. What the hell?

She got herself ready. She recalled what he liked her to wear…corsets. She fumbled through her lingere chest and found the perfect one. It was black lace with silver accents. It laced up in the back. She shimmied herself into it, tying it as tightly as she could. She looked at herself in the mirrot. “wow…i’ve still got it” she muttered. She drew closer to her reflection. Her eyes looked funny. The hazel/green color looked darker. Before she could look any longer, her phone rang.

“Is this Elise?” it was a woman’s voice on the line.

“Yes, it is. Who is this?” she asked. After all it was almost 11:00 pm.

“I am Jude’s driver. I am in route to pick you up. Are you ready?”

“Yes, well almost. I will be in a few minutes.” and the phone went silent.

Moments later, she heard a knock at the door. Standing there was a tall blond woman wearing a tight black turtleneck sweater, black skirt and boots. She was gorgeous. Her hair was pulled back in a sleek ponytail and her skin was as white as porcelain. Her eyes were dark and her lips were red.

She grabbed her keys, purse and phone and followed his driver.

The driver ushered her into a large black SUV. She felt the tightness of the corset through her black dress. Her stilettos looked amazing with the dress. She felt sexy in her clothes. She wondered if he would approve.

And just then, her phone rang. It was him.

“Did Tasha pick you up?” he asked.

“Yes. You must be very important to have your own driver.” she jeered.

He laughed and said, “I will see you soon, Elise.”

Elise had no idea where she was going. The driver mentioned the location, but it was not anywhere that Elise recognized. They crossed over a river on a old rickety bridge. It rattled and swayed as they made their way to the other side.

“That’s it up ahead.” Tasha said.

There was a stone wall around the property and the wrought iron gate squeaked as it opened for them to pass through. The house was enormous. It looked like a medieval castle, or a royal estate. She was puzzled. She didn’t recall him being wealthy. The last time they saw each other, he lived in a loft apartment on the river.

“What kind of work does Jude do?” she asked the driver.

Tasha replied, “He’s into a lot of different things. He’s very good at what he does.”

And just like that, she pulled into the side garage. He was standing there to greet her.

“Hello, Elise.” he held out his hand and helped her out of the vehicle. He was still as handsome as before.  He was wearing all black also.  His physique was perfect.  She could tell by the way he looked at her that he liked what he saw. “It’s been a long time. You look great. Just as I remembered. Come with me, I’ll show you in.”

They entered the large dining room. The table was huge and could easily seat 40 or more. There was a place set for the two of them. He guided her over to her place and pushed her chair to the table.

“I thought we would have a light meal as we catch up.”

She was speechless. It was almost too much. The house…no the mansion was gorgeous…the stuff of celebrities. The meal before them looked to be gourmet. And he was as striking as always. Tall. Dark. Brooding. He hadn’t changed at all. In fact, he looked like he had aged in reverse.

They ate as they caught up on the last 10 years. He spoke of his new business and how he been very fortunate to land a couple of profitable deals that lead to his success. She told him about finishing her Masters degree and opening up a counseling center to help troubled children. They chatted on an on, picking right up where they left off. The chemistry between them felt more intense than before.

“Were you surprised to hear from me tonight?”

She smiled shyly, “Yes and no. I was actually looking you up online when you called me. How did you get my number?”

He grinned, “I have my ways.”

“How did you know where I live? You’re not a stalker are you?” she joked.

“No I am not a stalker.” His tone was a bit different. He moved in closer to her. He moved her hair back from her neck and whispered, “No, Elise. I am not a stalker. I conjured you”

She snickered, “You conjured me? Ha! Maybe I conjured you! I have been thinking of you a lot lately.”

He was very serious, “Yes I know. That’s how I was able to find you. Your thoughts led me to you.”

She was beginning to get a bit creeped out. Had he gone mad since she last saw him. What the hell was he talking about???

“You don’t remember, do you?” he asked.

“Remember what?” she asked.

“Your promise to me. What you promised to give me?” he said.

Her mind was racing. What had she promised him so many years ago? What was it he wanted from her? They were never really a couple. They were more of a physical thing. He was a sadist who found pleasure in pushing her limits. There was no real relationship. They fed off of each other. Their sex was ethereal and molten hot. But she began a serious relationship with another and they soon went their separate ways. She tried to piece together their last encounter.

“I don’t remember. I am sorry. What did I promise you?” she nervously asked.

He laughed and took her face into his hands. He kissed her and she was transformed back to their last tryst. She was tied to his bed, legs spread wide as he poured hot wax all over her form. The sting was painful and sweet and he tormented her for what felt like hours. He asked her, “who do you belong to?”

She could hear herself…from 10 years ago, say, “I belong to you.”

“Do I have your mind? Your body? Your soul?” he asked.

In a breathless whisper, she said, “Yes. You have all of me.”

He pulled away from kissing her and looked deep into her eyes. “Now do you recall? You promised me your soul. Now I am here to collect, Elise. I want you. All of you. Give yourself to me.”

She felt an ominous sense of fear and trepidation as she asked, “Who are you, Jude? Who are your really? Tell me.”

He chuckled, “Oh Elise, you know who I am. You’ve always known.”

She felt his hand around her throat as she blacked out.  When she awoke she was bound to his bed, as like ten years before.  He was staring at her naked body.  There was a look in his eyes.  He wanted her.  And as terrified as she was, she wanted him.

“What are you going to do to me?” she asked.  Her voice was trembling in fear.

“I am going to fuck you, Elise.  I’ve never stopped thinking of you.  I want you to be here.  With me.  Will you be mine forever?”

Before she took another breath, she said, “Yes”

He entered her in one movement and she felt ecstasy unlike anything before.  She had an orgasm, instantly. Followed by another and another.  He ravaged her and she welcomed him into her body with each thrust.  And as he unloaded inside her, her entire life played before her eyes.  She saw her entire existence.  From birth on.  He could see it too, after all he had been there the entire time.  Lurking in the shadows.  Waiting to take her.

And now he had her.  She was his.  Mind.  Body.

And Soul.

For eternity.

devil