Just the other day, I was chatting with a friend who admitted that she enjoys being spanked by her husband during sex. She was giggling and embarrassed to share this “deep and dark secret” with anyone. We are casual friends and she has no idea who I am under my good girl veneer, so I was amused by her reticence in telling me. I thought to myself…if she only knew. Then I began to think about how most of us hide our secret selves. Even from our partners.
Reflecting on my friend’s revelation, I realized that what some may consider mere play..others may find kinky. What some find kinky, others may find offensive, or even immoral. So we keep these thoughts hidden. Hidden from society. Hidden from our friends and family. And sometimes, hidden from our lovers. But why wouldn’t we trust them with our fantasies? Do we feel we will be judged? Do we worry they will see us differently? And then I took a long insightful look at myself.
After all…I’ve pretty much done my fair share of everything. What’s left to do in my treasure-trove of dark escapades? What desires haven’t I fulfilled?
Believe me, I have a few things on my murky bucket list. I just need to find the voice to share these decadent desires of mine …with my One.
I have always had a rape fantasy, not for the brutality, but more for the vulnerability. And I have acted on it a few times, but it usually morphed into more of a BDSM scene and not the spontaneous “attack” I had envisioned. I want the suspense. I don’t want to know when it’s going to happen, or how it’s going to happen. I crave the fear.
This is what I’d love to experience. Here is a little scene from one of those opaque corners of my twisted mind.
I arrived home later than usual. The kids were staying with friends and I assumed he and I would order takeout for dinner. The house was pitch-black and quiet. His car was not in the driveway, as he was also working late. I was excited to know I had a few minutes of solitude before our evening began. I walked towards the bathroom and began to run a bath.
Making my way into the kitchen, I poured myself a glass of Argentine Malbec and returned to the bathroom to check the water. It was hot and inviting. I took a large swallow of wine and began taking off my jewelry. I saw something in the mirror behind me. A shadowy figure approaching me. My heart raced and I let out a gasp, but quickly realized it was him.
Funny thing…I didn’t hear him drive up.
I continued with my routine, taking off my jewelry, my blazer, my peep-toe pumps. I was just unbuttoning my white silk blouse when I said, “Hey sweetie. I’m going to take a bath. Let me know what you want to order for dinner.”
He was silent. I could feel him staring at me from behind. He wasn’t wearing his shirt and tie from work. He was wearing all black…black t-shirt, black pants. I realized that he must have arrived home before me and changed his clothes. That’s strange…where did he park his car?
I turned around to face him. “Are you okay? When did you get home?”
He suddenly put his hand over my mouth and forcefully walked me into our bedroom.
His whispered in my ear, “You’re asking for it, undressing in front of me like that. I am going to fuck you so hard I will make you beg me to stop.”
I had never heard that tone in his voice. I didn’t know where this was coming from…truly I was a bit scared. He pushed me onto the bed face down. He hiked up my black skirt and spread my legs with his knee. He reached up my thighs and yanked off my dainty pink lace panties. Ripping them on one side.
“Be still” he growled as he plunged three fingers into my wet hole. He finger fucked me with one hand as he pulled his pants down with the other. Before I knew it he was deep in my sex, fucking me from behind as he pinned my body to the bed.
“You’re so fucking wet. You like this, don’t you?” He penetrated me so deeply, I could feel a tinge of pain every time he thrust himself inside. He filled me…every inch of me. I was writhing in pleasure, close to an orgasm. Excited by how it was all happening.
Then he backed away, pulled me to my feet to face him and pushed me down on my knees and rammed himself down my throat. I could taste my juices on his glistening cock as he pushed my head down on his shaft, edging as far down my throat as I could take. I couldn’t even gag. I couldn’t breathe. He knows I love breath play and he held my head on his cock until my eyes began to water. He would release and give me a respite to catch my breath before he did it again. And again. He continued until my face was tear-stained black from my mascara. He pulled me up by my hair and told me to get on the bed on my back.
He positioned me with my head slightly off of the bed as he stood over me and slowly eased his cock down my throat again.
“I want to see how far you can take this” he sneered. He slowly fucked my mouth and throat as he rubbed my clit relentlessly. I was so out of control. So vulnerable and exposed. There was nothing I could do, but lay there and take it. I could barely breathe…I was barely able get enough air in my throat with his large cock taking up all the space. I moaned as I came repeatedly, squirting and gushing everywhere.
“Get on all fours, ass up” he quipped. I quickly complied and he spread me as wide as my legs could go. My legs were shaky from being stretched so far. It made me feel helpless and immobile. He was behind me, grabbing my ass he plowed himself inside my ravaged cunt. Deeper and deeper. My body shuddering with each movement. I couldn’t tell where one orgasm stopped and the other began. I just kept having them, screaming in ecstasy as he kept fucking me.
Then he stopped. To get my attention, he pulled my head back by my long dark mane. Then I felt him enter my ass. His cock was so slick from my wetness that he slid in with one movement. He let out a deep, baritone snarl as he fucked my tight hole. I knew he was close to the edge. He was so hard. He slowed his pace with deeper, purposeful thrusts. Just before he came, he let out a primal growl that bellowed off the walls.
Afterwards we were both silent. He moved up to the head of the bed and pulled me into his chest. He tilted my chin to face him as he softly kissed my lips.
“How was that for you? Did I fulfill your rape fantasy?”
My body was still trembling from the overall experience…from the intense orgasms he gave me. I managed to find my words as I whimpered, “Yes, Sir. You did.”
He scooped me up his arms and stroked my hair as we drifted off to sleep.