erotic stories

The Experience

Summer was hot that year. Scorching and unapologetic, much like my new state of mind. Outwardly, I remained cloaked within the confines of social norms, but internally, I was a savage. It was my personal season of exploration and I ached to experience more.

For several months, I’d toyed with online dating.  I’d been pleasantly surprised on a few occasions and gravely disappointed by most of the others.  It was a random hodge-podge of men.  All ages with a host of diverse backgrounds.  They carried with them different baggage but mostly hummed the same tune.  It was exhausting.

Dates were always painful. The small-talk. The formality. The awkwardness. Hearing their story. Sharing my story. And then sitting there as they chatted on…inwardly doing a quick analysis to determine when the evening would end. I rarely showed who I was on these first meetings.  Sometimes, I would feel like taking them on a test drive, but usually the night ended with a fleeting kiss in the restaurant parking lot.

There were a select few whose online profiles roped me in (no pun intended).  Knowing what I wanted to explore, I sought out a certain “tone” the profile. I wanted a self-assured, intelligent man who was open-minded and a bit dark. I messaged with a few who turned out to be far too nice for me.  Then I received a message from a gentleman that intrigued me, so I perused his profile. There were dark undertones throughout.  I responded to his message with a playful tone and he responded accordingly. We chatted online for a few days when he closed one of his messages with a bold statement that demanded my attention…

“Tess, as much as I enjoy our chats, let’s cut the bullshit and be real because I sense something different in you.  I know you feel it in me. What do you want from all of this?”

I read the message several times prior to responding.  I knew who I was, but how do I express that to him.  What if he thinks I am perverse? Deviant? And then I grew a pair and thought…fuck it.  If he’s not into it…I will move on as I have every other time.

“If I am being authentic and real with you…I have just discovered that I enjoy pain, intense situations and I crave feeling vulnerable and exposed to my lover.  And yourself?”

“Thanks for your honesty.  I think we may be a good match…I am the beast that will tear you apart and put you back together again.  I have felt you were keeping this from me and I am glad we know who we are. I would like to take you to lunch next week.  When are you free?”

Free?  That’s an interesting concept. I decided to further my reveal and answer him in a figurative way.

“I am free when I am bound.  I am free when I push through my limits.  I am free when I relinquish control to one capable of taking me to the dark places in my soul. And I am free on Thursday.”

“How long is your lunch hour?”

“I only work a half-day this Thursday, so it can be as long as it needs to be.”

“Good. I will be see you then.”

Thursday arrived and we decided to have lunch at my place. It was rare that I had the house to myself and I wanted to do naughty, kinky things in my own bed.  At noon, my doorbell rang.  I answered to find him standing there with a dozen long-stemmed white roses.  He was tall and lean and much older than I’d realized  I knew he was retired, but age never came up in conversation, as it was irrelevant.  It was still irrelevant.

I went to the kitchen to put the flowers in water and to check on lunch.  I’d prepared a tomato quiche for us to eat and it was almost done.  After I pulled the quiche from the oven, he made his move towards me.

“I am not hungry for quiche, Tessa. I want you.  I want to devour you.”

I faced him and peering into his blue eyes I said, “Consume me.”

My clothes ended up in a trail between the kitchen and my bedroom. I was completely naked. He asked me to get on the bed, on all fours. I did and then I noticed something…I’d been distracted by the flowers at his arrival and neglected to see the bag he’d brought in with him.  I heard him unzip it and walk towards me.

“Put your ass up, Tess.  Expose yourself to me.”

I did as he instructed, expecting a repeat of what happened with the sadist.  Instead, I felt his warm mouth on my lips as he licked me from front to back. He had a firm grip on my hips as he went about his task with great fervor.  I felt myself edging towards an orgasm, and he placed no restrictions on me.  I came furiously in a fast frenzy of delight. He emerged and said, “Hold still.  We are about to try something new.”

I felt the sting of the wooden birch rod across my exposed backside and I liked it.  He followed the first blow with another…and another.  “Tessa, this is a birch, it’s like a form of caning.  Tell me how it feels.”

I was enjoying the sting of each blow and answered, “It hurts a little, but I like it. No broken skin, right?”

“No broken skin at all. But I am enjoying seeing the stripes on your ass.” And we carried on for a bit.  He changed it up with a newly purchased riding crop.  I LOVED the sting of the leather crop.  I moaned in delight with each blow.  I loved the sound of it.  The feel of the leather on my skin. My entire backside was hot from the taste of the crop. He reached up to finger my hole and said, “My god you are so wet. You are aroused pain, aren’t you?”

He was right.  My body didn’t lie…I loved it.  He rolled me over on my back and devoured my dripping wetness. His face glistened as he emerged to kiss my mouth. He’d remained dressed up to this point.  It was one of his kinks…me totally naked, him fully dressed.  It was sexy.

“After tasting you, I cannot wait to feel you.”

He removed his belt and looked at me with a sinister grin.  I was a bit scared that he would use the belt on me later, but he didn’t.  He undressed and stood before me. He was very (VERY) well-endowed and his large cock was almost too much for me.  Each time he pushed himself inside me, I felt like I would cum immediately.  He instructed me to tell him when I was close to an orgasm.  And I felt like I was there every few seconds.  He was slow and deliberate. Together, we devised an intimate rhythm. And the orgasms were incredible.  I noticed that he enjoyed watching my face as I climaxed as he carefully studied each expression.

“I love watching you cum for me.  Next time, I want you to concentrate on looking into my eyes when you have an orgasm. I want to see into your soul.”

He went on to explain his theory that when someone orgasms, they are at their most basic and honest self. They shed facades and expectations.  They revert back to a primal version of themselves. He wanted to look into my eyes as I revealed myself to him.

It was difficult for me, because that is a truly vulnerable place. But this was part of my journey, revealing myself in a vulnerable way.  He expertly compelled another orgasm and my gaze locked into his. I came unglued, but held my position.  He saw it all.  All of me…as my breath quickened and my body shook in ecstasy…my eyes held his.

We carried on in this fashion for what seemed like hours.  He positioned me as he pleased, having his way with my body. I was completely surrendered to him. I guess I could best describe our encounter as Tantric.  It was as much spiritual as it was sexual.

After several hours, we were spent. We shared my bed and talked about our experience together. He was a retired philosophy professor and I loved listening to his take on things.  He felt our connection was on a mystical level. And I would have to agree. It was a depth of physical/spiritual connection that I’d not had before.  Sure I’d been with lovers that I connected with, some I truly loved.  But this felt different.  As crazy as it sounds, it felt holy.

We parted ways on that hazy Thursday and we’ve never ventured into that realm again.  Distance and opportunity have been fleeting.  I am sure our stars will realign someday.  In the meantime, we are still close friends and confidants. He has proven to be one of my best friends giving me one of the best experiences I’ve ever had.

Once again, I was revealed as I searched for the enlightenment I craved.

gazing

No Pain…No Gain

Usually when you see the words “no pain, no gain” it is about exercise, growth and discipline. In my case, it was quite literal.(Warning…this post may not be for everyone. It is intense and graphic and long.  Proceed with caution…)

During the Spring of 2014, I went on a quest for enlightenment. There was nothing taboo on my to-do list.  I wanted to explore.  I wanted to experience.  I wanted to feel alive again. I needed to be released from captivity.  I didn’t know where to start.  There were NO prospects at work.  Lee and I were still in contact, but I wanted someone new.  I wanted new experiences.  So I created an “Alt.com” account. (For those of you who aren’t familiar, Alt.com is a “dating” site for those who are into BDSM, and/or different kinks/fetishes)

And my inbox was inundated with enlightenment. About 100 messages later, I filtered out a couple of interesting propositions.  The one that really caught my attention was the sadist. He was unapologetic and direct. He was aroused by inflicting pain on his subjects. He did clarify that he did not go to extremes, but helped people release their most dark and deviant desires. I was reluctant but intrigued.  After all, I’d done just about everything on my sexual bucket list, many times over, so I felt that I needed to expand my perspective.

After talking and messaging for over a month, we agreed to meet one weekend.  I wanted to ensure my safety, so we exchanged pertinent information.  I verified his full name, address, date of birth, occupation, and had a friend run a background check on him.  Yes, I know…a bit overboard, but his check was clean and he was who he said he was.  My friend knew exactly where we were going and I was to check in after we met, so that she would know I was okay.  He lived about an hour from me, and reserved a hotel suite for our adventures. I liked that we were meeting in a neutral location. It gave me an added sense of security.  It made me feel  like I wouldn’t end up in the bottom of a well with him screaming, “put the fucking lotion in the basket.” I also liked that he sent me an actual questionnaire, regarding my limits and curiosities.  We reviewed it together in detail so we would be on the same page.  He knew my limits and he knew my kinks. And I had no idea what to expect.

I was to arrive in the room first and get ready for the evening.  He asked that I wear a black dress and heels. So I happily obliged and took my time getting ready.  I had no idea what I was preparing for, but I was giddy with anticipation. He knew I was nervous and asked me to go to the hotel bar for a drink, before he got there. I was almost finished with the third Cosmo when I received a text, “I am here. Come now.”

I tossed back the drink, cashed out and made my way to the room.  He was waiting at the door for me, with a large imposing black bag and a sadistic grin. I walked towards him realizing that there was still time to turn and run the other way. But instead, I walked with confidence and purpose, eager to release the demons that lurked deep within my bones.

“Hello, Kevin.  I am Tess.  Nice to meet you”

He had an imposing stature, tall and muscular.  He was dressed in black slacks and a black shirt. His sandy blonde hair was slightly messy and he smelled divine. “It’s nice to meet you, Tess.  Are you ready?” he asked as I put the card in the door.

I smiled and said, “I think so.” and with that he put his arm around my waist and walked me into the room, backing me up against the wall. He said, “Are you ready is a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.  I need an answer now.  If you don’t want to go further, it’s okay. But I need to know NOW.”

He took the breath away from me. I was scared and aroused and I looked into his brown eyes and said, “The answer is yes.  Yes I am ready.”

“Good. What is the safeword we discussed?” he asked.

“Red is to stop.  Yellow to slow down.”

“Good girl.  Take off the dress.  Leave on the heels.”

I slowly unzipped my dress and let it fall to my feet.  I stared into his eyes as I removed my bra and eased my lacy black panties down my legs. I stood before him, completely naked, in heels.

He walked towards me and clutched my throat as he kissed me. “You are so beautifully sexy and vulnerable right now. I am going to fuck you till you can’t walk.  I am going to hurt you and allow to let go of yourself. On your knees, now.”

I fell to my knees and looked up at him.  He stroked my chin as he pulled his hard cock from his pants. “Suck until I tell you to stop.” he ordered.  I took him into my mouth as he pushed himself farther and farther, aggressively fucking my throat. It was a messy scene of saliva and tears with smeared lipstick and runny mascara, as he made my eyes water with every thrust.  “Your tears are sexy as hell. This is just the beginning. Stand up and put your hands on the table, spread your legs.”

He stood behind me and I could feel his hard cock on my body. He growled in my ear, “You are not allowed to cum, until I tell you.  Do you understand?”

I said, “Yes, I understand” and with that, he pushed my face down onto the table and began fucking me. He started massaging my clit while he fucked my hole and I felt myself beginning to climax.  I gritted my teeth and concentrated on not having an orgasm, but he would not stop. I was panicked because I didn’t know how to stop myself from going over the edge. I said, “I don’t know if I can stop. Please let me cum.”

He laughed and said, “No. You have to take it. If you cum, I will stop. I will leave. And we will not go any further.”

I didn’t want that to happen, as I wanted to push limits with him, so I regained composure and focused on taking his torment.  A few minutes later, he stopped and told me to grab a towel and get on the bed.  As I began walking towards the bedroom, he snapped, “Crawl to me, slut.” I still had my heels on and I clenched the towel with my teeth as I crawled to the bed.

“Very nice. Now give me your hands.” he swiftly placed leather cuffs on my wrists and tied me to the bed. I felt nervous by what was coming next when I heard the sound of him rummaging through his bag of tricks.  He pulled out several items and I felt a sense of terror as I heard him approach me. I was face down on the bed, with my hands tied and I could not see what was coming.

“Open your legs wide.” He felt the wetness of my cunt and began fingering me.  He abruptly stopped and then fingered my ass.  He stopped and I could hear him squirting lube on his fingers as he assaulted my tight hole again. He was preparing me for something and I was excited by what was coming next.

He walked towards my face and showed me what was coming next.  He was holding a large dildo in his hand.  He stroked my cheek with it and said, “I am about to fuck your ass with this huge, 11 inch dildo. You are going to take every inch of it, aren’t you?  Oh, it is going to hurt, isn’t it?”  I nodded.  “What’s your safeword, Tess?”

“Red to stop, yellow to slow down.” I said.  My heart was racing. He began to push the large instrument in my ass, slowly, twisting it to add to the torment.  He kept whispering, “Take it, Tess.  Take it all.” and ironically, I found the sound of his voice comforting.  I relaxed as he filled me. Once I’d taken the entire length of the dildo, he told me to hold it there.

He massaged my feet with one hand as he pushed the dildo into my ass in a slow rhythm. I loved the pain. I craved each thrust. I felt myself getting close to the edge, when he stopped to retrieve something from his bag.  I heard him open a package and then felt something cold on my foot, like an alcohol pad, between my toes.

“On your questionnaire, you had a strong curiosity about needle play.  I am about put needles between your toes, while I continue to violate your ass. So I will need you to be completely still.”

I shuddered at the thought and yet I felt aroused.  He showed me that each needle was sterile packed in an individual package (did I mention that he was physician’s assistant). He opened the space between my great toe and the other toe, wiped it down again and inserted a 25g needled in between my toes.  It was intoxicating.  The feeling of pressure, of penetration, of a slight prick of pain all while being ass-fucked was almost too much.  He kept at his work, and before long I had needles in both feet, a dildo in my ass and his cock in my hole.  He held my feet up as he fucked me, his body driving the dildo farther inside me.  I was so overcome with sensation that I began to come unglued.  I started to weep.  Not from the pain, but from the pleasure…from the release.

He was aroused by my tears and picked up the pace, savagely fucking me. “Tess, you are allowed to cum now.  Let go.  Let it go.” And with that I let go and had the most intense orgasm of my life. I gushed all over, the bed was soaked and so was my pillow, from where I’d been crying. He came immediately after and slowly removed the dildo from my ass and the needles from my toes.  He untied my wrists and removed the cuffs.  He turned me to face him.  I was still emotional from the experience.

Without a single word, he got a warm washcloth and wiped my tears.  He kissed my forehead as he began to clean me up. His touch was tender and affectionate.  He whispered in my ear, “You were amazing tonight.  You truly let yourself go.  How do you feel?’

My voice was shaky from the intensity of what had just happened.  Teary-eyed I looked at him and said, “I don’t know how I feel.  I feel confused, but I feel content.”

He scooped me up in his arms and held me as we drifted off to sleep. I awoke to him packing his bag.  He sat on the bed next to me. “You are probably going to feel some confusion over what you experienced tonight. I am here to talk to you whenever you need me. This is just the beginning of what we could do together.  If you want to explore more, I will be here.  If you don’t, that’s okay.  I will understand either way.  This is not for everyone.  But your response was beautiful and liberating. I do hope we can see each other again.”

And with that, he placed a bottle of water on the nightstand, tucked me into the covers like a child, kissed my forehead and left. A couple of minutes later I received a text, “room service comes at 7:30 with breakfast.  You need to eat something, Tess.  Text me when you get home.”

To be continued…

cuffs

(Photo credit, Pinterest)

One Hit Wonders-Hotel Atlanta

It was January 2004.  I’d been invited by my boss to accompany her to a conference in Atlanta.  Translation:  she needed a wingman/sidekick/bad girl to hang out with her at this boring 3-day conference.  I was happy to oblige. I enjoyed any opportunity to let my hair down and sow some oats.

Her name was Jane and she was simply beautiful. She had the facial structure of Angelina Jolie, with dark auburn hair. She was tall and statuesque. Men noticed her. And you put us together with my long dark wavy hair, full lips and hourglass body, and we caused quite a stir. On our first night there, we sat at the hotel bar chatting over happy hour drinks, when we were approached by two older gentlemen.  They sat down with us and struck up a conversation. Before long, we were having dinner with them. They were from Boston, there on business with large expense accounts and even larger…egos.  We grew tired of their posturing and excused ourselves soon after dinner.

We were both tired from the day’s events and retired to our room. Since I was not a paid attendee of the conference (I was just there for Jane) I had to share a room with her.  It was no big deal, as there were 2 queen beds and a bathroom mirror large enough to accommodate us both getting ready at the same time. It was all good. We put on our pajamas, cracked open a bottle of wine and had cocktail confessions. It was like a grown-up sleepover. We laughed and giggled for hours. Jane was just as wild as me.  We shared stories of our escapades, as we finished up the wine and moved on to a fresh new bottle of gin. We were both sauced when Jane spilled an entire drink on her bed.  It was soaked.

“Guess I will just have to bunk up with you tonight!” she exclaimed.  And we laughed and drank some more. It was approaching 2:00 am, when we finally ran out of mixer and decided to go to sleep. She and I said our good-nights and crawled into my bed.  I was beginning to dose off when I felt her hand on me. I had my back to her, but felt her playing with my hair. At first, I didn’t know what to do. I’d been with women at different times in my life, but it had been years…and this was my boss. I began thinking about how she would feel, how she would taste and I slowly rolled over to face her. She looked at me and stroked my face.

“You know me spilling that drink was no accident, don’t you? I’ve wanted you since I hired you. But I don’t want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. I just want you to know the door is open.”

And without thought, or hesitation, I leaned over and kissed her soft mouth. I don’t remember the specifics, but I do remember that we flung off the covers and sat up in the middle of the bed kissing while we undressed each other. She pulled me into her body, facing me away from her as she massaged my spot, making me cum almost immediately. I could not wait to taste her as I opened her legs and found that she was dripping wet with anticipation. I made her wait for it, teasing her by kissing her inner thighs, avoiding her sweet cunt, until she could not stand it any longer.  We fucked all night.  No inhibitions. No limits. Insatiable.  We finally collapsed as the sun rose, getting about 2 hours of sleep before we had to wake up. I heard her in the shower when I shuffled into the bathroom for a drink of water.

“Good morning, you.” she said from behind the shower curtain, “how did you sleep?”

“I didn’t get much sleep, but I feel rested,” I replied.

“Yeah, me too.” she snickered.  She soon made her way out of the shower and I jumped in.  We went about our day as if nothing had happened.  There was no awkwardness.  No shame. No difference in how we were than before it happened. I was glad.  I didn’t want there to be any strangeness.

That evening she had made plans for us to go to a local night spot for dancing.  We ate a quick dinner and hopped a cab to the club.  We danced for hours.  She found a “friend” and went back to his place.  He was a strapping young lad and I knew she was in for a good time.  I’d met a few fellas, but no one that really interested me, so I went back to the hotel. As the cab approached the door to the lobby, a man that was standing out front opened my door, “Good evening.  Let me help you out.”

I smiled and said, “Thank you. And they say chivalry is dead.”

He said, “I am proof that is not true. Let me show you.  Come have a drink with me.”

And I thought…what the hell.  Why not?

Over some very dirty Martini’s I found out he was from Ohio and was attending the same conference that we were. He mentioned seeing me during one of the workshops and wanting to ask me to dinner, but not having the opportunity.  He was nice looking and smart.  And married, like me.  He was charming and I’d already made up my mind to fuck him senseless before the night was over.

After several drinks, I excused myself for the evening.  He insisted on walking me to my room.  I knew the routine…we would kiss…our clothes would end up in a pile on the floor….we would fuck…he would leave and that would be that.  But when we got to my room, he froze.  No kiss.  No move.  Nothing.  I didn’t make a move either, I was expecting him to.  Before I knew it, he was walking away to his room.  I shrugged it off.  I would have liked to have had wild, crazy sex with a stranger, but if it was not in the cards…that was okay too.

I had just gotten undressed when I heard a tap at the door.  I peered out of the peep hole and saw him standing there.  I answered the door with nothing on but a towel, wondering if he had finally gotten up the nerve to seal the deal.  He saw me standing there barely covered and it was on.

We kissed as we made our way to the bed.  I still had the towel on, but he reached up and pulled it off of me. I began taking off his shirt and pants.  When I pulled down his boxer briefs, I was in shock. I was not expecting him to be packing.  He seemed so unsure of himself. But this fella was hung like Seabiscuit.  I was in awe.  Regardless if he had skills or not, I knew exactly what to do with that.  I could not wait to have him inside me.

After he fumbled with the condom, I finally got my wish.  His cock was so large that I felt a tinge of pain as he pushed himself inside. I loved it. He wasn’t aggressive enough for me, so I took the lead and mounted him. I don’t remember how many times I came, but I loved fucking him.  After a couple of rounds, he got dressed and left, just as Jane came in.  I told her about him and she told me about her night.  She’d had a great time with a young cowboy.  He was not as well endowed as my guest, but she had lots of fun.

And although her bed was in pristine condition, no drinks spilled on it that night, she chose to sleep with me. We didn’t do anything but sleep…tangled up and naked, both of us sated. The morning came and we were back to business as usual.  We maintained a great working friendship and never crossed that line again.  And although we work in different states, we are still friends, and Jane is just as beautiful.

jane

(Photo credit, Pinterest)

If Only For One Night…

September, 2002.  I don’t recall ever being as focused and productive in my life. I took on the challenges of each new day like a badass mercenary. I was unstoppable. It did not matter what came up at work or at home, I was up for it. The way I saw it, each new day brought me closer to the big day.

The day Courtney and I would cross our own boundaries into our magical place of refuge…each other.

The anticipation was killing me.  I found myself answering my work phone on the first ring in hopes of hearing his voice…of knowing the specifics of the plan. I got my wish a few days before the big day…he called with details.

“We have a suite at the Riverfront Marriott on Monday the 23rd.  I will arrive early in the day for meetings.  You come over when you can.  There will be an envelope for you at the front desk.” he paused, “but get there as soon as you can, I want as much time as I can have with you.”

I was speechless.  It was happening.  It was really happening….I had no reservations about crossing the threshold of infidelity.  I’d already darkened the door to the other side many times over with Greg at work.  But this was Courtney.  This was different…this was the love of my life.  I didn’t know if I could I ever walk away from him again.

“Hello?  Tess are you there?” he asked

I quickly responded, “Yes!  Yes I am here.  Just thinking.  Taking it all in…that’s all.”

“Are you having second thoughts?” he asked.

“No” I replied.  “Not at all.  I can’t wait to see you.  I do worry that I may not be able to walk away again.”

“Tessa, we will be fine.  We can handle this.  If it gets too much, I will be the one to stop it before it goes there. I’ve got us. Okay?”

That made me feel better.  I’d always been the one to shut it down.  I’d been the one to walk away.  I felt safe knowing he would take care of us…that I didn’t have to.

I’d been planning my fake out-of-town meeting for a week  before my husband took notice.  I told him over dinner one night and then casually brought it up again a few days later.  He seemed uninterested and asked if he needed to pick up our son. As I was about to answer, he said, “So you’ll be gone on the 23rd? Overnight?”

“Yes.  Remember?  I told you last week.  There’s a training in Savannah on Tuesday, I will have to go down there on Monday evening.”

He looked irritated, “That’s not going to work, Tess.  Remember, I have my safety conference in Boulder that week. Someone needs to be here for Nick.  Your parents hate driving on this side of town, so you need to stay. I am not cancelling my plane reservation last minute. Maybe you can do the training another time.”

I felt like I’d be punched in the gut.  All of the air was sucked out of my balloon. I nodded in agreement and made my way to the kitchen to wash the dishes when it hit me.  He will be gone for a week…in Colorado…halfway across the US.  I can still see Courtney.  I thought further…I will have Nick stay with his friend overnight and all will be as planned.  Hot Damn, Van Damme!  You can’t keep a good girl down.

The next day, when I spoke to Courtney, I told him about the near miss.  He chuckled, “we should cancel the hotel reservation and I should just come over to  your house.”

We were both silent as we pondered the scenario.  I laughed…then he laughed…then we were silent.  And then I said, “Sure. You should come over.”

And it was settled.  We decided to take it there…yes….there.  Nothing like peppering in more spice to an already volatile mixture.  I felt it was safe…John was flying out on Sunday morning and I would have verification he arrived long before Monday evening.  Courtney could park his car in the garage where it wouldn’t be seen.  We could actually “play house” in my house, doing all of the naughty things one should do at their domicile.

Monday arrived and I was calm.  Very calm.  I arranged for Nick to stay over at his friend’s house and made my way home from work.  Courtney was planning to come over around 8:00, when it was beginning to get dark, but not so late it would alert any of my curious neighbors.  I opened the garage about 7:50 and he arrived at 8:00 exactly.  I stood in the doorway to the kitchen as he got out of his car.

“So this is what coming home to you would feel like?” he muttered as he walked up the steps into the house.  He threw his overnight bag on the floor and took my face in his hands.  “A man could get used to this, you know?” and he overtook me with a kiss that made me stumble in my stance.

I took him on a tour of the house and we ended back in the kitchen, where I’d made us some appetizers to nosh on.  He made us both a drink and we stood there…staring at each other for the longest time.

“Are you sure about this, Tess?” he asked.  I nodded.  “Yes”

And with that affirmation, he pushed me up against the wall, pinning me with his body, unbuttoning my blouse, exposing my red lacy bra. Within seconds, my shirt was off…his shirt was off. Then my skirt.  His pants.  We stood there and admired each other.  I dropped to my knees and took him deep in my mouth.  His head fell back and he let out a loud groan.  He grasped my hair in his hands and pushed me into his body.

“My god you are amazing” he whispered as I continued to take him deep in my throat.  My knees were sore from the cold floor below and I didn’t care.  I wanted nothing more than to be with him…in that moment. I wanted him to feel immense pleasure.  After a few minutes he pulled me up to my feet and walked me into the bedroom.

He carefully guided me to the bed, opening my legs with his.  Softly kissing my breasts down to my navel and then to my sweet spot.  He held my legs open onto his shoulders as he made me cum over and over.  I had not had orgasms like that in years and I began losing my voice from screaming so loudly.  He rolled me over onto my stomach where he traced my spine with his tongue.  Over and over.  I almost came unglued.  It was beyond sensual and I was lost in him again.  It was like it was before, only better, more intense, more mature.

He pulled me up to my knees and pushed himself inside me, taking my breath away just as he did the first time we were together.  He filled me.  All of me.  We fell into a rhythm as we made love on my bed.  We fucked for hours in every way possible, making up for our eight year hiatus. In between orgasms we talked and spooned and dozed off.  He stroked my hair and told me about his life.  About his kids.  About his job.  I did the same.  Neither of us were miserable in our ascribed paths, but neither of us were really happy. .

We watched the sun rise that morning, as we did on our first night.   I made us a cup of coffee and we drank it, tangled up together in bed.  We took a shower and got ready for work.  I could barely walk and I was exhausted…but I was fulfilled.  Complete in a way that I’d not been in years…eight years to be exact.

I watched him leave from my driveway with a sense of longing.  I wished we could have made a life together, but maybe this is how it is supposed to be…maybe some things are too good, too intense. They burn at too high of a temperature.  Maybe this was the only way “we” could be “us”.

I’d not paid any attention to his CD.  Our evening was so incredible, that I was lost in him and had no recollection of the songs he’d put together for us.  I took it out of the stereo and popped into the car for my drive to work.  And as I pulled out of the driveway, “If Only for One Night” came on.

It was apparent that he finally understood what I’d figured out eight years before…we could never get it together to be together, but we would never be over.  Even if it were just one night at a time…with eight years in between…that was enough.

It was enough. If only for one night…

one-night

(Photo credit, Pinterest)

Is It a Crime?

The year was 1986.

I was quite the social butterfly that summer.  I’d made many new friends in my neighborhood and we were always sleeping over at each other’s houses.  I had finally started to like the area, when I found out we were moving from upstate South Carolina, back to Georgia.  Needless to say, I was not happy.  But there was nothing I could do about it, so I partied like it was 1999, in 1986.  I knew my time was limited, so I threw caution to the wind (not that I ever held it in my hand) and made the most of every single minute there!

As I’ve shared, there were many young men in my “harem” at that time…the good boys, the bad boys…the preppy boys….the ones too old for me…the pretty boys, and of course, the preacher’s son.  I felt it was high time for me to try my hand at the dangerous boys.  I knew exactly who I wanted, but had no clue as to how or when I could make it happen.

His name was Anastasios.  His parents owned the only Greek restaurant in town.  Tasso (as he preferred to be called) was about 19 years old and worked in his parent’s restaurant, among other things.  I say this because he owned a brand new top of the line black Mercedes Benz.  You don’t make that kind of cash, working as a waiter. His parents drove a beat up station wagon.  No, there was more to his story that meets the eye.  I suspected he was selling drugs, but could never confirm it.  The cloud of suspicion was just enough to wet my whistle and I wanted this Hellenic bad boy.

I talked one of my new friends into having lunch with me at the restaurant. She hated Greek food, but tagged along to help me with my plan.  He was not our waiter, but I got his attention with one of my sultry looks from across the room.  He grinned and took our table from his sister who was waiting on us.  We’d not placed our food order when he sauntered over to our table.

“Hello, I’m Tasso.  What you two girls hungry for?” he said, with a mischievous grin.

That was all the encouragement I needed…I replied with, “I am hungry.  Very hungry.  Just don’t know what it is that I have a taste for” and I licked my lips.

He retorted, “Oh, I think you do.  I think you know exactly what you want” and he stared me in the eyes.  It scared the shit out of me.  I was accustomed to being the aggressor.  Maybe I was biting off more that I could swallow, before I tasted my first bite.

I stuttered my order of souvlaki and spanakopita and shyly looked down at my hands.  His directness was sexy and scary at the same time.  He knelt down to meet my gaze.  “What else can I get for you, Tessa?”

He knows my name?  How does he know my name?  I was flustered, but regained my composure, as I perceived his knowledge of who I was…as a victory in this tête–à–tête we were having.

I looked into his obsidian eyes, smiled and said, “I think you know, Tasso”

My poor friend.  She was just there as my wingman, and she was in the middle of all of this. But she took it like a champ and choked down her feta like a good friend would.  The food came out and as I was eating, Tasso handed me a note.

“I want to see you.  Meet me tonight.  I can have my driver pick you up.”

His driver?  WHAT?  Why would a 19 year old waiter have a driver for his brand new Mercedes?  The intrigue was building with each exchange.

I wrote him back with two words, “When? Where?”

He knelt down beside me and said, “We will come get you at your house.  Where do you live?”

I giggled.  Like my parents were going to let their young teenage daughter ride off into the sunset with Zorba and his driver.  “I will have to meet you somewhere besides my house.  Strict parents, you know.”

He nodded.  And then he whispered in my ear.  “You probably need to let loose, if you’ve got strict parents, huh?  I know just what you need.”

We made arrangements for him to pick me up at 9:30 at my friend Erica’s house.  She lived several houses down and I wouldn’t be seen by my parents, or curious neighbors.  I made up a story about a slumber party, packed a bag and headed to Erica’s.  I called my mom when I got there and told her I would walk home in the morning.  She didn’t suspect a thing.  Erica’s parents were potheads, so they had no clue who was at the house, who left the house or who came into the house.  They were usually stoned.

9:30 arrived and I saw the headlights pull into the driveway.  An older Greek man stepped out of the driver’s seat and opened the door to the backseat, as if he were a limo driver.  He said nothing, just nodded to me.  I got in the back, sitting next to Tasso, who looked delicious.  He had on a white jacket, linen pants and a pale blue shirt.  Very Miami Vice (which was popular).Very sexy.

He held my hand as the driver took us to the destination.  I had no idea where we were going and that was exciting.  The whole thing was exciting.  Tasso was quiet, but said something in Greek to the driver.  He put on some music and Tasso leaned over and smelled my hair. “You smell good”

“Thank you, so do you.” I said

“What is Tasso going to do with such a sweet young lady?” he said to himself.  His thick Greek accent was oozing with sex and I was ready to see what happened next.  The driver turned onto a road with a boat dock.  Parked the car in a secluded area and stepped out, facing away from the car.

“It’s just us now.  Tell me what you’re hungry for.”and he leaned over and kissed me.  “Tasso wants you.  He wants to show how hungry he is for you.”

Af first, I was put off with how he referred to himself in third person, but it was his language barrier.  It made him different.  Added to the intrigue.

He kissed me like no one else has, before or after him. He was so passionate, so in the moment.  Before I knew it my clothes were in the front seat and he was still fully dressed. He picked up my hips, pulled my thighs apart, tasting me at first, then devouring me.  He was relentless in his quest. He held me there for such a long time, that I was drenched in sweat and delirious from the pleasure.  I was experienced in sex, but had never had ANYONE pleasure me like that. He would come up from his meal to ask me if I wanted more.  I didn’t know how to respond.  I wanted more, but could I take more?

I managed to mutter, “Yes” and he kept on.  He treated me as if I were a 7 course meal.  I was thirsty and spent and we’d not even had sex yet.  He tapped on the steamed window..His driver came to the door and Tasso said something in Greek.  The driver opened the trunk and handed Tasso a glass bottle.

“This is a Greek drink.  You will like it.” he handed it to me after he sipped it.  It tasted like licorice and I did like it.  In fact, I drank too much too fast and felt like I was floating. I faded in and out for a few minutes as Tasso carried on with his dinner.  I came back down to reality and noticed that he was completely undressed.  He took my hand and guided it to his hard cock, showing me how he wanted me to stroke it.  I did exactly as he showed me and then I took him in my mouth.  I was so uninhibited by the drink (I later found out was called ouzo)  that I took him deep.  I returned the favor in a big way.

He was so aroused by my performance that he could no longer hold back.  He turned me to face the side window and fucked me like a god. He flipped me on my back and devoured me again before he continued fucking me some more.  All the while, he said dirty things.  He described how I felt to him, growling as he plunged into my sex.  He talked about how I tasted and how he wanted more of me..how he wanted me to pass out from the pleasure he gave me….how he wanted my lips on his wet cock before he finished fucking me…I had never been talked to like that before and I loved it.  He was indeed that bad boy I craved.

We stayed in that spot for another couple of hours, while his driver waited outside. He had retrieved a chair from the trunk and sat a few feet from the front of the car.  His presence no longer bothered me.  We had the windows down and I didn’t care if anyone heard me moan or scream or beg for more.  It was too good for me to stop.

That was the only time we were together.  After our marathon of an evening, his driver took us to the restaurant.  It was dark and empty.  Tasso fixed us a snack and playing over the speakers was “An Evening with Sade”.  The radio station would play an entire album late at night and call it “An Evening with….” That was the first time I heard, “Is it Crime” and I smiled to myself…knowing what we’d done bordered on criminal…knowing whatever he did to afford his luxury lifestyle was criminal…knowing that my web of lies to get out for the evening was criminal.  I was such a bad girl.

I got back to Erica’s house around 4:00 am.  I was exhausted and sore.  The next day I awoke to find bite marks all over my body.  We had feasted on each other and left evidence to prove it. I didn’t care.  I would find a way to cover my tracks.  I always did.

A few years ago, while working for hospice, I had the opportunity to pass through my old town in the upstate. His family’s Greek restaurant had been replaced by some franchised chain.  There was no trace of Tasso.  And even though it was one night, I will never forget my evening with him.

tasso

 (Photo credit, Pinterest)

The First Time I…

Summer, 1993.

It was a typical Saturday night.  I was between relationships and in between flings, and my roommates asked me to come with them to a party. At first, I was reluctant to go. I didn’t feel like getting ready for an evening out. But they were persistent, reminding me that my next “victim” could be there…waiting for me to have my way with him. I took the bait and before I knew it, we were on our way.

The party was across town at another college. It was packed.  There must have been about 80 people there, mostly girls.  The music was decent, but I wasn’t feeling the vibe. My roommates scurried over to a group of their friends and I found my way to a empty place on a worn out couch.  The place smelled of beer and I was planning my exit.  Quite honestly, I was pissed.  I would have been happier at home.

Just as I was about to flee the scene, I saw him.  Oooh, I saw him.  He walked in through the out door.  I sat my ass back down and watched him stride through the crowd.  I felt like a hunter stalking her prey. I envisioned all the naughty things I could do with him.  He was beautiful.  Tall and lean.  Broad shoulders.  Dimples.  Flawless skin.  I was doing a mental inventory of his attributes when some idiot spilled their drink on me.  Luckily, I was able to move quickly and only a little got on my skirt.  I was looking for a towel or napkins, when I felt a hand pull me over the side.

“Looks like you moved just in time.” he said.  It was HIM!  He had come to my rescue.  I felt my face flush. He was so incredibly handsome, that I felt nervous.

“Yes, I have quick reflexes.” I muttered.

“Yes, you do.  Let’s go into the kitchen and find you a towel”  He took hold of my hand and effortlessly guided me through the crowd into the kitchen.  Fumbling around in cabinets and drawers, he found a small tea towel.  He handed it to me and our eyes met.  We held the gaze until it became awkward. I dried my skirt and thanked him the towel.

The kitchen was becoming more and more crowded.  “Let’s get out of here.” he said.  “I don’t know why I came here tonight.  I don’t even like these kind of parties. I need some air.  Let’s go outside”

We walked out back and found a couple of lawn chairs.  He pulled them together and wiped my seat off before we sat down.  He extended his hand to me.

“Hi, my name is Courtney.” Courtney?  I’d never met a man named Courtney.  

“I am Tessa”

Still holding onto my hand, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it.  “Nice to meet you, Tessa.” he grinned.  JESUS…he was handsome…and smooth.

“Nice to meet you, too.” I said.

We talked outside for a long time.  One of my roommates peeked through the door to check on me and I gave her the all good sign.  She giggled as she turned back inside.  She knew where this was headed.

But it didn’t go there.  Normally, I would have bagged and tagged this guy in a matter of hours. Drained the life force from his body and left him before dawn, with a smile.  But this was different.  There was a sincere connection.  I wanted to know him.  He wanted to know me.

“What are you doing tomorrow” he asked.

“I don’t have any plans.  How about you?” I said.

“I am taking you on a picnic.  Shall I pick you up around noon?”

“I’d love that.” I said.

“Good.  I will have the food.  Do you have a blanket we could use?” he asked.

I thought to myself…Me? Do I have a blanket for such occasions?  Don’t you know who I am?  I have a blanket to do whatever you need.  Wherever you want.  

Instead I answered, politely, “Yes.  I have a perfect blanket for a picnic.”

And he walked me back inside, helping me find my roommates.  We left soon after and there was a buzz about my new suitor.

My roommate Mary said, “You tramp!  You just had to pick the finest one in there, didn’t you? Damn he is hot.”  No lie…he really was.

Sunday arrived and we had a lovely picnic at a local park.  He’d picked up sandwiches and fruit and we ate in a shaded area close to the woods.  He was even more beautiful in the light of day.  I was looking demurely sexy in a sexy pink sundress with a plunging halter neckline and my long dark wavy hair spilled over my shoulders .  I could see that he liked my ensemble.  I could see that we really liked each other.

We shared our first kiss on the blanket as I anxiously anticipated what would happen next. But he didn’t make a move towards anything sexual.  I was a bit confused.  Most men would have made some sort of advance, given the setting and the chemistry between us. But he was different.

“I would like to take you to dinner, tonight” he said, touching my face.

“I would like that” I said.

“And I would like for you to stay with me, at my place afterwards.” he said.

I stared into his golden brown eyes and said, “I would like that, too”

He drove me back to my apartment as I nervously packed an overnight bag for my evening out. As we left, he took me by the hand, carrying my bag, and lead me to his car. As I was about to get in, he pinned me to the car with a passionate kiss.  It was so steamy that I almost lost my balance.

“I want you in the worst way” he whispered, as he kissed me some more.  I was dripping with desire.  I wanted him badly, too.  I would have gladly fucked him on that picnic blanket, or right there on the car, but I felt he had something else in mind.

Dinner was at a local Italian restaurant.  I don’t remember what I ate.  I just remember wanting it to be over.  Wanting to get back to his place.

We drove to the movie store (remember those?) and selected a movie to watch at his apartment, although I knew it wouldn’t even make it out of the case.

We got back to his place around 9:00.

And by 9:05, we were in his bed.  I wish I could remember each and every detail.  I wish that I could remember each move.  But what I do remember is the music playing in the background.  Courtney was a musician and a huge fan of jazz and soul.  He’d cued up a Luther Vandross album (on vinyl) for us to listen to.

I don’t remember how our clothes came off, or how one thing led to another.  I do remember the feel of his skin as he held me to his chest.  I remember the sliver of moonlight coming through his bedroom window that shone on his exquisite form.  I remember how he smelled.  I don’t recall the cologne, but it was subtle and sexy.  I remember him pulling me on top of him as he held my face in his hands and kissed me.  There was no rush for either of us to make the next move. When we did, I do remember how he felt as he entered me for the first time…filling all the space inside me…making me gasp in pleasure.  I recall how his hands grasped my hips as we partook of each other.

I do remember, with great detail, that was the night I fell in love.  For the very first time.  I was in love with someone.  Not lust.  Not sex.  Not saying the words to spare their feelings. I fell in love with this man.  I knew it. He knew it. I gave all of myself to him that night.  We made love for hours. He selflessly gave of himself.  We watched the sun rise together and I felt contentment unlike anything I’d experienced before.

We carried on for a few months in a state of absolute bliss. He was almost mystical in his seduction of my mind, soul and body.  No matter how often we were together, it felt new each time. Courtney will always be my first true love.

To this day, when I hear “So Amazing” by Luther Vandross, I am transported back to the time when I fell in love.  I am taken back to hearing and truly understanding those lyrics for the first time.  And it’s so amazing…

in-love

(photo credit, Pinterest)

Wonderland

elevator

My descent into the downward spiral of the rabbit hole was exhilarating.  I peeled off the mask I’d been wearing for seven years, finally recognizing my reflection in the looking glass.  It was me.  I had returned.  The darkness around me was a familiar place of refuge and I felt alive.

Greg continued his massage of my shoulders, slowly easing his hands towards my soft breasts.  He was gentle in his touch and I longed to kiss him again  Time was passing quickly and we couldn’t stay behind closed doors alone for much longer.  Someone was bound to notice and there would be talk.

Greg turned me around to face him.  “We should continue this later.  We don’t want to create any suspicion around here.”

I nodded in agreement.  He quietly unlocked the door and placed a chair under the vent he’d inspected.  “When you open the door, I will be on the chair pretending to diagnose your issue with the vent.  That should ward off any talk.”

He stood on the chair and as I moved towards the door. I noticed the bulge of his crisp khaki pants.  I paused as I walked by him, taking a moment to look up in his eyes seductively.  I casually opened the door and slid out of the office unnoticed by anyone.  He pretended to work with the vent for a few more minutes before leaving.

When I returned to my office, there was a note in my desk:

You name the time, and I will make time. Come see me in my office before you leave.  

Hmmm…Instructions.  I liked the tone of this note.  Around 4:50, I visited his office.  He was busy working on several projects, but welcomed me in.

“What are your plans for Friday night?’ he asked.

“I don’t really have any.  He is working nights and my son is staying over at a friend’s house.”

“Okay.  Could you stay out for a few hours?” he asked.

My face felt flushed.  It just dawned on me that I was about to dive in this pool.  I was about to plan this tryst with him.  I felt nervous at the thought of being intimate with someone new.  I’d brainwashed myself into monogamy and I began feel a slight moral dilemma.

“Is this too much, too soon Tess?” he asked.  I guess he could read my face.  He could see that I was struggling with making definite plans.

“No, it’s not.  I want this.  It’s not too soon…in fact it’s a bit late.  And yes, I can safely stay out until midnight”

He pondered his next comment.  “I am thinking we should meet at the Sheraton around 8:00.  I will get the room.  Just promise me this, if you change your mind, you will tell me and I will promise to do the same for you.”

I nodded in approval, “I don’t think I will back out, Greg. I don’t think Friday can get here fast enough for me.”

He grinned.  My LAWD the man was sexy.  It was only Tuesday.  How could I hold out until Friday?

The week moved on at its normal pace.  I was super-busy and so was he.  We would exchange niceties in the halls and spoke in morning meeting.  We both understood that we needed to WAIT for Friday.  We understood the intense heat between us and knew if we found ourselves alone for any amount of time that we would go too far.  That couldn’t happen at work.

Friday arrived and I felt like backing out.  I didn’t have a change of heart, but I was nervous about our encounter.  I somehow pushed through the day.  When the evening arrived, I took my time getting ready.  My son was with friends.  My husband at work.  And I had the house to myself.  I took a long, hot shower.  I made sure my skin was perfectly smooth.  I prepared myself as if I were going out on a first date.

I had just received a cell phone for work a few days prior.  Greg already had one and that’s how we communicated.  He called me around 7:30 to give me the room number.My heart jumped when the phone rang.  I knew it was him calling with the location.  His voice was deep and sexy, “Hello, Tess.  I am here.  The room is perfect, come on when you’re ready.  It’s room 719”

I did some last minute preparations and headed out. It took about 10 minutes to get to the hotel.  I arrived and the door to the room was ajar.  I knocked lightly as I opened it.  The lights were out and there were candles lit.  I looked down and noticed a trail of clothes on the floor.  Shoes. Socks. Pants. Shirt.  I followed the trail and saw him standing at the end.  He had on nothing but black boxers and that devilish smile.

I walked towards him and he pulled me close.  My face rested on his warm, toned chest.  He smelled divine. His skin was smooth and I rested my head on his heart as he stroked my hair. He pulled my face to face his.  His eyes smiled as he looked into mine. He planted a kiss on me that made me swoon.  I literally felt weak in the knees.

He pulled me close again, as he began removing my clothes.  Piece by piece.  He turned me around, with my back to him, as he unzipped my little black dress.  He carefully slid it over my head, leaving me there in my (matching) ivory and black lace bra and panties. He ran his hands over my back and carefully unfastened my bra.  He slowly pulled it away from my body as my breasts spilled out. He turned me to face him again as he looked at my body.  He kissed me as he guided me towards the crisp white bed.

“Lay down and get comfortable.” he instructed.  He sat next to me and massaged my body, circling my breasts, softly rubbing my legs, tickling my abdomen as he stroked it like a feather.  He kissed me as he touched the place between my legs.  I was still wearing my panties and he teased me by tracing the edges of the elastic with his fingertips.  I wanted him to rip them off and fuck me sore.  I wanted him to unleash what I’d held onto for seven years.  I wanted him badly.

He stood up and pulled my panties off.  They were moist from my arousal.  He dropped to his knees and buried his face in my thighs, exploring my slit with his tongue.  I whimpered and moaned in delight.  He slid a finger into my slippery place as he probed for the sweet spot.  Once he found it, I came immediately.  He stood up and I sat up, dropping to my knees on the floor, taking in all of his length in one movement.  He almost lost his balance as he felt for the bed under him.

I worshipped his ample cock.  I licked the shaft slowly, deliberately circling the head with my tongue before taking it deep.  I sucked softly and then aggressively, like the greedy slut I was.  I teased him by only taking in the tip and then taking it as far as it would go down my throat.  I don’t think he’d ever received anything like that.  He was so hard.  As much as I wanted to swallow his load, I also wanted to feel him deep within me.

I stood up and he pulled me on top of him.  His cock was slick with my saliva and it easily slid inside me.  I moved my body down onto his, feeling how he filled me.  I started to grind and buck, taking his cock deeper with each stroke.  I found myself going faster and faster, overcome with pleasure as we headed to orgasm.  We came together and I fell onto the bed beside him.  We both just lay there…in awe of what had just transpired.

“You okay, Tess?” he asked.  He was slightly out of breath.  I replied, “I am better than I have been in forever.”

He pulled me onto his chest and brushed the hair out of my face.  Looking at me, he said, “That was amazing.  I want more of you.  I want to have you as many times as I can tonight, you feel so good.”  I was speechless, as I was still recovering from the high.  But I found myself morphing back into the naughty girl from years past.

We took a candlelit bubble bath together and fucked again.  He took me from behind that time.  He filled every space inside me.  As he was about to unload, he pulled my shoulders back to edge in as far as he could.  He let out a primal growl as he filled me.  I loved it.  I wanted him rough.  I wanted him to use my body for his pleasure.  I wanted to give him something he didn’t get at home.  I wanted to be slut he needed me to be.

We carried on throughout the night.  Around midnight, we both got ready to leave.  He helped me put on my dress, but refused to let me put on my panties.  He said I should keep them off, as he found it sexy.  I was happy to oblige.  He walked me to the elevator and pushed the button for the penthouse.  I was confused.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Just taking a ride, that’s all.  Gives us a few more minutes together” And with that comment, he walked over to me, slipped his hand up my dress.  Pushing two fingers in my hole, he fingered me on the elevator for a couple of floors.  He slipped them out and put them in my mouth, running them around my lips.  I could taste my sex and his seed.  He then pinned me to the wall and kissed me.  “Now we have tasted each other together.  Until next time, baby.”  He kissed my cheek and walked off the elevator as it we had just reached the ground floor.  He walked to the left.  I walked out to the right.

And as I made my way to the car I thought about the evening and once again, I felt weak in the knees...

 

(photo credits, Pinterest)

The Rabbit Hole

alice

May 2002.

I was in a place of transition.  I’d just been recruited to work in a director’s position at a local retirement home.  The place had a horrible reputation, but the new ownership assembled a strong team of experienced managers tasked with turning it around.  I loved it there.  The owners worked day and night to make improvements to enhance the lives of the residents.  We all worked together to make a difference.

For the most part, I liked everyone I worked with.  The administrator was kind and focused.  The director of nursing was great at leading the clinical team.  The social worker and I immediately bonded over music and movies.  And then there was the director of environmental services.  I was very fond of him.  His name was Greg.

I met him the day of my interview.  He was walking out as I was walking into the building.  He smiled as he opened the door for me, “Come on in.  How may I help you?”  His smile was sexy and I recognized a certain look in his eye.  It’s the look that you share with others in your tribe.  It’s a glimmer that lets you know that they “see” you also.  The real you.

I shyly smiled as I walked by him.  “I am here to see Brian.” I said.

“You must be the one he told us about!  Are you here for the interview?” he asked.

I nodded.  Greg smiled as he walked me towards Brian’s office.  He knocked on the door as he opened it and said, “She’s here.  The one you were telling us about.” Brian opened the door and welcomed me in.  Greg shook my hand and said, “It was really nice meeting you.  I hope to see you around here soon.” I sat down with Brian and sailed through the interview.  He immediately made me an offer and I accepted, on the spot.

From the beginning, there was tension between Greg and I.  It was an unspoken air of sensuality that existed when were in each other’s presence.  Although we didn’t have time to talk often, the conversations we did have were charged with an underlying tone of mutual attraction.  It was in the eyes.  When our eyes met, there was a certain electricity that sparked from the connection.  We both dismissed it.  After all, he was married.  I was married.  And neither of us wanted to venture too far off of our ascribed paths.

As the days went on we became closer, often talking about our kids and our lives at home.  We had sons the same age, who attended the same elementary school.  We worked hard at keeping our interactions professional but there was still tension in the air.  Occasionally, we would forget our obligations and shamelessly flirt with each other.  Then one of us would reel it back in.  We would take a couple of days off from chatting, to cool down, but eventually we would end up in the same place.

One sultry afternoon in May, I called him to my office.  The air conditioner vents were blowing hot air and it was quickly becoming uncomfortable.  He stood on a chair and checked the vents.  I looked at his form as he stood there, inches away from me.  I fantasized about facing him, and slowly unzipping his khaki pants as I looked in eyes; pleasuring him right there in my office.  I was lost in my thoughts when he said, “It’s electrical.”

I was caught off guard.  “What?” I stammered.

“The issue.  I think something may have tripped the breaker because, there’s no air coming out at all now. It’s happened in a couple of the other offices.  We’ve already called in a HVAC company to fix it.”

“Thank you.  It’s already too hot in here for me.  What should I do?”

He grinned.  “I have a fan tucked away in my office for such occasions.  I will go get it for you. Do you need anything else?”

At that moment, our eyes connected and there was no going back.  It was happening.  I could feel it.  He could feel it.  I stared deeply into his brown eyes and said, “Yes.  I do. But it can wait until you bring the fan.”

He held my gaze for several seconds before walking back to his office.  I felt a tinge of nervousness deep in my belly.  I looked around my office and began visualizing where this would take place.  Over the desk?  On the table?  On the floor?  Does the lock work on my door?  Do my bra and panties match today?  Oh shit, did I shave my legs this morning? As my mind raced, the door opened as he walked in with the fan.

He stared into my eyes and said, “Where do you want it?” He meant the fan, but I knew there was another meaning to his question.  He knew I knew it.  I nervously sat behind my desk and said, “how about on the table?”

He plugged in the fan and turned it towards me.  He sat in the chair across from my desk and said, “What else did you need, Tess?”

Oh shit, I thought.  Not prepared.  At a loss for words.  What to do?  I’d not stepped off the path of fidelity in my sexless marriage for almost seven years.  No man, other than my cruel bastard of a husband, had touched my skin in seven years.  I had not felt like a woman in seven years. I was so hungry for Greg’s touch, but I was bound to another.  As I struggled with an answer, Greg stood up and walked towards the door.

“Don’t go.” I said.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I am just locking the door. So tell me, what is it you want from me, Tess?” his tone was direct.

Keep in mind that for seven years I’d been in a relationship where I could not be my wanton self.  I worked hard to bury that part of me in exchange for the perceived comforts of the Stepford life I was encouraged to live. Plain and simple, I’d all but lost my game.  The old me would have spun a yarn, filled with innuendo that would have already had us in the throes of passion.  The new me didn’t know how to navigate this part of the journey. But slowly, I found the words.

“In my last job, the director of environmental services, was known to give a great massage.  My co-workers would call him to their offices on stressful days and he would work all of the knots out of their shoulders.  I never got one, but he said those were tricks of the trade and that all environmental directors are good with their hands. Is that true, Greg?  Are you good with your hands?” I coyly asked.

He walked towards my desk, stepping behind me, he moved the hair from my shoulders as leaned down and whispered, “I don’t know.  I will let you be the judge of that.”

He gently stroked the back of my neck as he moved his hands towards my shoulders.  I’d not been touched there for so long that I sighed out loud.  He began kneading my tense muscles and I relaxed into the massage.  “How is that?” he asked

“It’s wonderful.” I said.  My voice was breathy and faint.

He moved his hands up toward my neck, gently caressing my throat as he moved them back to my shoulders.  I was lost in his touch.  I could tell he wanted to feel my breasts, but he kept his hands at a respectable distance.

“What are my limits, Tess?  How much can I do?” he asked.

I stood and turned to face him, looking him in the eye.

My voice was steady and sure, “You have no limits with me, Greg”

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me towards his mouth, passionately kissing me he said, “I want you.  I’ve wanted you since I met you.”

“I know.  I’ve wanted you too.  But I’ve been trying to do what’s right.”  I said

He nodded. “I know.  I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but I want you, Tess.  I fantasize about us all the time.  I don’t care if it’s only once.  I just want you.”

And that was the day I chose the red pill.  I swallowed it whole without persuasion.  I swallowed it whole on my own accord.  I knew what I was doing.

That was the day I ventured down the rabbit hole.

(To be continued…)

red pill

 

 

Dirty Work

Most people have a weakness.  For some, it’s decadent food.  For others, it’s a vintage Scotch or designer shoes.  And for some it’s sex.  Sex is a weakness for many of us hedonists out there.  I am not ashamed to admit that it’s a weakness for me.  I will confess to you that I have another weakness.  His name is Jake.

joaquin

Jake was a career military man that I met online about 2 years ago.  He was a handsome, articulate, strapping young gent, who made me weak in the knees.  To me, he could have been Joaquin Phoenix’s twin.  About 11 years my junior, Jake was an accomplished world-traveler who knew what he wanted.  At that time, he wanted me.

We connected on every level.  The sex was earth-shattering carnal pleasure.  He knew how to coax out the wanton whore that lied beneath my proper demeanor.  We were both kinky as hell and he particularly enjoyed role play.  He would send me a text of what he wanted me to wear on the evenings we saw each other.  “Tonight, you will be the disobedient school girl.  I will be there in 30 minutes.  Once I am there, you will need to report to the Principal’s office for your punishment.”  I would go ALL OUT.  That evening I recall wearing a white blouse unbuttoned to show my plaid bra, a super short black skirt, white knee socks and heels, no panties.  To complete the ensemble, I wore pigtails and chewed pink bubblegum.  DAMN…that was a fun night.  Trust me, I got my homework done and all of my assignments turned in.  Another time, I was to be the meticulous librarian.  There was the maid.  Then there was the business executive.  We did it all.  EVERYTHING.  And a couple of months into our sexy marathons, he moved with the military.  But on occasion, I will hear from him.

Last September, I thought of him…he was on my mind for days.  We hadn’t spoken since that May, but I longed to see him again.  To feel how he filled me and fulfilled me.  And out of nowhere, I received a text.  IT WAS HIM!!!!  We always felt we were mentally connected.  I guess I called him up telepathically and he answered.

His text, “I need to see you again.”

My reply, “Name the time and place.”

He replied, “I will be in town for a training next week.  Can you get away for a few hours?”

I replied, “YES.  I will make time.”

So the next week arrived.  I was giddy with excitement over seeing him again.  His schedule was pretty tight, but he had time early in the morning.  So I came up with a backstory to cover my tracks at home and left that morning before dawn.  (Let’s pause for a moment…anyone who can get me out of the bed that early has to be one hell of a man).  It was still dark outside and my heart raced as I drove to his hotel.  I was so nervous.  It had been almost a year since we’d seen each other.  Our last time together had been explosively hot.  I worried that I had built up my expectations so high from our last scene, that I would feel disappointed by anything less.

I arrived at the hotel and knocked on his door.  He answered in nothing but his underwear and any concerns that I had about being disappointed were laid to rest as he closed the door.  He looked great.  He was such a handsome man with a chiseled face and toned body.  I loved his dark, brooding eyes and the small dimple in his chin.  He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.  I could smell his skin as I felt the warmth of his body.  He kissed my forehead and said, “God, I have missed you.”

I looked up at him and said, “I have missed you too.”

No sooner did the last syllable leave my lips, that his lips were on mine.  From there, it was pure passion.  In a matter of nanoseconds my clothes lay in a heap on the floor.  He sat on the bed and pulled me towards him.  “Lay across my lap and tell me all of your sins.” (Like me, Jake is a music lover.  His choice for the morning’s tête-à-tête was Steely Dan’s greatest hits.  At that moment, “Dirty Work” was appropriately playing in the background.  The song always takes me back to that scene)

I did as he asked.  We often started our time together like this.  I would lay across his lap and would caress my back and backside as we talked about our lives. After a few minutes, he had me move from his lap to lie face down on the bed.  He continued on with his massage.  Towards the end, he pushed my legs apart with his knee and began to rub my sweet spot.

“I can’t wait to hear you cum for me.  I have missed that sound so much  I want you to do it. Will you cum for me?”

I didn’t have an opportunity to verbalize an answer.  Pleasure washed over me like high tide at the beach.  I moaned with delight as he turned me over to face him.  He made me cum again.  “Look me in the eyes when you’re getting close.  I want to see your eyes when you orgasm.”

It was a matter of seconds before he brought me there again.  We stared at each other as I came unglued.  His eyes were watchful and curious.  “You are so beautiful. I love watching the ecstasy on your face.”

We were tangled together in various contortions for hours.  I loved pleasuring him.  Taking him deep down my throat while I stared into his eyes.  Such connection.  When we rested, we would lay there naked, facing each other as we talked.  He would tell me about a Ted Talk he’d watched and how it impacted his way of thinking.  I would tell him about patients I’d cared for during their last minutes.  We would talk about our goals and dreams.  We talked about everything.  Then we would fuck some more.

Before I knew it, it was time for us to part.  I felt such sadness leaving him.  I felt such joy for having the time we did.  We vowed not to stay away as long next time.  And we didn’t.  He texted me with some dates in October and I made arrangements to see him.  I will share more details about that rendezvous in another post.  It is quite a story.

As today, the last day of August, draws to a close, I find myself thinking of him.  We started our relationship in September 2014 and something about this time of year makes me think of Jake.  I wonder if I can lure him in with my thoughts again, or have we completely phased out?  I wonder how he is doing.  Part of me wants to see him again.  The other part of me is content with what we had for the time we had it.  But still, I wonder.  Only time will tell if we will reconnect.

Just in case, my schoolgirl outfit is pressed and ready for any upcoming assignments.  

schoolgirl

(Photo credits, Pinterest)

The Tower

My former lover, Lee, contacted me a few days ago.  We stay in contact, although we’ve managed to morph into a strictly platonic friendship.  We have been close since we were kids.  It’s a complex relationship.  He was with me at the hospital the day my mother died and he was there with me, a few months ago, when my father died.  We’ve been together in many forms over the years.  I’ve often wondered what would happen if we just tried going all in…you know, as a committed, monogamous couple.

And I realize that it would never work for us.  When we are lovers, it’s the thrill of being caught that fuels our fire.  If neither of us are already in a relationship, the intrigue isn’t there.  But put us together when we are not supposed to be…and you have a towering inferno of heat.  Which brings me to my saucy little story….

Lee messaged me late Thursday afternoon, “I was just at the tower.  Made me think of you.”  I was surprised by the message and said, “Oh yeah?  Which one?”

He responded, “At Exit 11”

Immediately, I was transformed by the mention of that location.  After the “Very Close Call” we had at my house, we opted to meet in neutral locations.  Lee works in the communications industry and would occasionally have to go to a radio tower site to ensure everything was running properly.  He had this wicked idea for us to meet there for a tryst.  And we frequented several around town.

If you’ve ever visited a radio tower, you know that it’s a spartan building with lots of controls and wires.  The floor is usually concrete.  Lee would have to open a padlocked gate and then a padlocked door for us to gain entry.  But it was secluded and it was just what we needed for an afternoon delight.  As long as there was a wall for me to brace myself against, Lee would navigate the rest.

We began a routine of meeting for a quick lunch and then taking a ride to a tower site.  Sometimes our appetites were so ravenous that we would meet two or three times a week.  I loved fucking Lee.  It was always more than sex with him.  We have a deep connection that makes our physical chemistry even hotter.  I loved how he bent me over while I held onto the ledge on the wall.  He would hit every perfect angle as he slammed himself into me.  I could never get enough of him.

One afternoon was particularly steamy.  We were at the tower site off of Exit 11.  We had both already gotten ours once, but we were not sated.  I wanted more of him.  He wanted more of me.  He propped my leg on a control board as he pushed himself inside me.  He rubbed my clit as he slowly and deeply sank into my hole.  It was all I could do to keep my balance.  The pleasure so much that I couldn’t contain it.  I moaned and screamed with each movement. He was turned on by my display and his rhythm became more powerful and intense.  He kept making me come over and over and eventually we collapsed together in a heap on the floor.  He was still inside me and I rode his cock, my bare knees against the concrete floor.  I didn’t care.  I was possessed with lust.

Just after he unloaded inside me, I saw the door begin to open, as the sunlight forced its way into the dark corner of the room.  “Lee?  Are you still here?” a voice called.

And I thought…can we catch a freaking break? How many times have we been walked in on, in our 25 years together?  One of his co-workers had arrived to check a setting on one of the control boards.  Ironically the one I’d been propped up on.  I quickly composed myself and Lee immediately went into work mode.  He introduced me as the IT/Communications Director of a local hospital, who was curious to see how things worked on this end of the business.

His co-worker, Ray, took one look at my sweaty appearance and knew exactly what side of the “business” I was working.  He shook Lee’s hand, nodded at me and made his way out of the building.  We got ourselves together and smiled.  The same smile we’ve shared on so many occasions before.  The “we got away with it again” smile.

Lee and I walked outside and he secured the padlock on the building.  He grinned and said, “What are you doing for lunch tomorrow?”

I smiled back at him and coyly said, “You”

tower

(Photo credit, Pinterest)