Tessa’s Tell-All, Playing Clue in the Loo

Last autumn I found myself bored and restless, a dangerous combination for a bad girl like me. I needed something to do. Something that would appeal to my dark side, but not jeopardize my happy home. Something more than writing. I craved interaction. I wanted to relive the glory days without the risk. I needed an adventure.

The Universe responded. I happened upon an article about legitimate jobs in the adult industry. The article (which was laden with affiliate links) recommended registering on a site called Sexy Jobs. Before the night was over, I created a profile and applied to a few offerings. Most of these were bogus ads that promised huge returns in exchange for pictures and videos. I wanted to keep it incognito, so I politely declined the offers.

A week later I checked the postings again and found a couple of sites that caught my interest. I completed an online application (yes…even phone sex companies have applications) and wrote a compelling cover letter with a link to this blog. Within one hour, I received a call from “the bosslady.”

She was a fast talker with an incredibly sexy voice. Her tone demanded respect and she cussed like a sailor. She did a brief interview with me by phone and asked me to reach out to her assistant the next day. Her assistant was kind, but very reserved. She shared her story of being in the industry for almost 20 years. She briefly discussed the good and bad of it all, and reassured me that I would do well. She asked that I send her my pre-employment packet, along with a signed confidentiality agreement and in two days, I started working on the phones.

I fashioned a private “office” in my enormously large closet. I put a comfy chair in the corner, with a small side table and a laptop desk. It was a perfect setup. With a few modifications, it was almost soundproof.

Based on my life experience and voice, they assigned me a character named “Nadia”. Nadia was a dirty little MILF with no taboos or limits. Nadia’s photos were uploaded on the site along with an intro and it was showtime! The first step was to enter the website’s chat room and flirt with the customers a bit. I have spent most of my life doing my dirty deeds in the flesh, so “chatting dirty” was new to me. I enjoyed it. And thirty minutes into my shift, I received my first call.

He was a regular caller that loved talking to new girls. We briefly chatted online, but I had no idea what he wanted from me. I will admit to you, I felt a bit nervous and it was exhilarating! As you know, I have almost completed my depraved bucket list, so it was nice to find something that actually excited me.

He spoke with the dispatcher and booked a 30 minute call. Suddenly it was just us on the line. I prepared myself to go in whatever direction he desired. At first, we made small talk. He had a Midwestern accent and liked my southern drawl. About ten minutes into the call, he asked me to describe what I was wearing.

Okay readers…truth be told, I was wearing some old pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. But for him, I was wearing a short, lacy nightgown and a thong. A matching ensemble. Then he asked me when I’d last used the bathroom.

WHAT? Wait a minute…we went from lacy nightgowns and thongs to the loo?

I didn’t know what to say. I could not tell what his angle was. So I kept it open and said I couldn’t remember when I’d last graced the porcelain throne. He seemed happy with that answer.

“Do you need to go now? Do you need to pee?” he asked.

And just like that, it clicked. I knew his kink. It was like playing a game of Clue…Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick! Instead, it was toilet kinkster, on the phone, with me relieving myself. Live, not recorded.

For a moment, I panicked. I didn’t need to pee at that moment. I began to wonder if I would become “bladder shy” and not be able to go on demand. My mind was racing. It was my own version of performance anxiety. But then, the old pro took over.

I answered, “Sweetheart, just give me a minute to finish this glass of wine and I will be ready.”

I could hear the excitement in his voice, “Okay, take your time. We still have about 15 minutes.”

I looked all around my office for inspiration and there it was. My answer. A water bottle, half full, sitting on my side table.

As we continued our chat, I quietly removed the cap from the bottle. We were down to 7 minutes left on the call and I could tell he was getting anxious.

“Hey baby, I am ready. I really have to go! I can barely hold it any longer!” I blurted out in the middle of him talking.

He was instantly turned on and grunted his reply, “Okay, I want to hear it. Put the phone down where I can hear it all.”

I sat on the pot, legs open. Phone in one hand. Water bottle in the other. I let the water trickle from the bottle to make it even more realistic. I drew it out. I even breathed a sigh of relief when I returned to the phone.

I could hear him pleasuring himself on the line. He was close to his ending when he said, “Let me hear you flush now.”

I pushed the lever and heard him reach his peak as it flushed. In a breathy voice he thanked me for the call and hung up.

And that, ladies and gents, was my first foray into the phone sex industry.

This is just the beginning. Stick around…there is much more to come!

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(photo credit, Pinterest)