Month: September 2016

Is It a Crime?

The year was 1986.

I was quite the social butterfly that summer.  I’d made many new friends in my neighborhood and we were always sleeping over at each other’s houses.  I had finally started to like the area, when I found out we were moving from upstate South Carolina, back to Georgia.  Needless to say, I was not happy.  But there was nothing I could do about it, so I partied like it was 1999, in 1986.  I knew my time was limited, so I threw caution to the wind (not that I ever held it in my hand) and made the most of every single minute there!

As I’ve shared, there were many young men in my “harem” at that time…the good boys, the bad boys…the preppy boys….the ones too old for me…the pretty boys, and of course, the preacher’s son.  I felt it was high time for me to try my hand at the dangerous boys.  I knew exactly who I wanted, but had no clue as to how or when I could make it happen.

His name was Anastasios.  His parents owned the only Greek restaurant in town.  Tasso (as he preferred to be called) was about 19 years old and worked in his parent’s restaurant, among other things.  I say this because he owned a brand new top of the line black Mercedes Benz.  You don’t make that kind of cash, working as a waiter. His parents drove a beat up station wagon.  No, there was more to his story that meets the eye.  I suspected he was selling drugs, but could never confirm it.  The cloud of suspicion was just enough to wet my whistle and I wanted this Hellenic bad boy.

I talked one of my new friends into having lunch with me at the restaurant. She hated Greek food, but tagged along to help me with my plan.  He was not our waiter, but I got his attention with one of my sultry looks from across the room.  He grinned and took our table from his sister who was waiting on us.  We’d not placed our food order when he sauntered over to our table.

“Hello, I’m Tasso.  What you two girls hungry for?” he said, with a mischievous grin.

That was all the encouragement I needed…I replied with, “I am hungry.  Very hungry.  Just don’t know what it is that I have a taste for” and I licked my lips.

He retorted, “Oh, I think you do.  I think you know exactly what you want” and he stared me in the eyes.  It scared the shit out of me.  I was accustomed to being the aggressor.  Maybe I was biting off more that I could swallow, before I tasted my first bite.

I stuttered my order of souvlaki and spanakopita and shyly looked down at my hands.  His directness was sexy and scary at the same time.  He knelt down to meet my gaze.  “What else can I get for you, Tessa?”

He knows my name?  How does he know my name?  I was flustered, but regained my composure, as I perceived his knowledge of who I was…as a victory in this tête–à–tête we were having.

I looked into his obsidian eyes, smiled and said, “I think you know, Tasso”

My poor friend.  She was just there as my wingman, and she was in the middle of all of this. But she took it like a champ and choked down her feta like a good friend would.  The food came out and as I was eating, Tasso handed me a note.

“I want to see you.  Meet me tonight.  I can have my driver pick you up.”

His driver?  WHAT?  Why would a 19 year old waiter have a driver for his brand new Mercedes?  The intrigue was building with each exchange.

I wrote him back with two words, “When? Where?”

He knelt down beside me and said, “We will come get you at your house.  Where do you live?”

I giggled.  Like my parents were going to let their young teenage daughter ride off into the sunset with Zorba and his driver.  “I will have to meet you somewhere besides my house.  Strict parents, you know.”

He nodded.  And then he whispered in my ear.  “You probably need to let loose, if you’ve got strict parents, huh?  I know just what you need.”

We made arrangements for him to pick me up at 9:30 at my friend Erica’s house.  She lived several houses down and I wouldn’t be seen by my parents, or curious neighbors.  I made up a story about a slumber party, packed a bag and headed to Erica’s.  I called my mom when I got there and told her I would walk home in the morning.  She didn’t suspect a thing.  Erica’s parents were potheads, so they had no clue who was at the house, who left the house or who came into the house.  They were usually stoned.

9:30 arrived and I saw the headlights pull into the driveway.  An older Greek man stepped out of the driver’s seat and opened the door to the backseat, as if he were a limo driver.  He said nothing, just nodded to me.  I got in the back, sitting next to Tasso, who looked delicious.  He had on a white jacket, linen pants and a pale blue shirt.  Very Miami Vice (which was popular).Very sexy.

He held my hand as the driver took us to the destination.  I had no idea where we were going and that was exciting.  The whole thing was exciting.  Tasso was quiet, but said something in Greek to the driver.  He put on some music and Tasso leaned over and smelled my hair. “You smell good”

“Thank you, so do you.” I said

“What is Tasso going to do with such a sweet young lady?” he said to himself.  His thick Greek accent was oozing with sex and I was ready to see what happened next.  The driver turned onto a road with a boat dock.  Parked the car in a secluded area and stepped out, facing away from the car.

“It’s just us now.  Tell me what you’re hungry for.”and he leaned over and kissed me.  “Tasso wants you.  He wants to show how hungry he is for you.”

Af first, I was put off with how he referred to himself in third person, but it was his language barrier.  It made him different.  Added to the intrigue.

He kissed me like no one else has, before or after him. He was so passionate, so in the moment.  Before I knew it my clothes were in the front seat and he was still fully dressed. He picked up my hips, pulled my thighs apart, tasting me at first, then devouring me.  He was relentless in his quest. He held me there for such a long time, that I was drenched in sweat and delirious from the pleasure.  I was experienced in sex, but had never had ANYONE pleasure me like that. He would come up from his meal to ask me if I wanted more.  I didn’t know how to respond.  I wanted more, but could I take more?

I managed to mutter, “Yes” and he kept on.  He treated me as if I were a 7 course meal.  I was thirsty and spent and we’d not even had sex yet.  He tapped on the steamed window..His driver came to the door and Tasso said something in Greek.  The driver opened the trunk and handed Tasso a glass bottle.

“This is a Greek drink.  You will like it.” he handed it to me after he sipped it.  It tasted like licorice and I did like it.  In fact, I drank too much too fast and felt like I was floating. I faded in and out for a few minutes as Tasso carried on with his dinner.  I came back down to reality and noticed that he was completely undressed.  He took my hand and guided it to his hard cock, showing me how he wanted me to stroke it.  I did exactly as he showed me and then I took him in my mouth.  I was so uninhibited by the drink (I later found out was called ouzo)  that I took him deep.  I returned the favor in a big way.

He was so aroused by my performance that he could no longer hold back.  He turned me to face the side window and fucked me like a god. He flipped me on my back and devoured me again before he continued fucking me some more.  All the while, he said dirty things.  He described how I felt to him, growling as he plunged into my sex.  He talked about how I tasted and how he wanted more of me..how he wanted me to pass out from the pleasure he gave me….how he wanted my lips on his wet cock before he finished fucking me…I had never been talked to like that before and I loved it.  He was indeed that bad boy I craved.

We stayed in that spot for another couple of hours, while his driver waited outside. He had retrieved a chair from the trunk and sat a few feet from the front of the car.  His presence no longer bothered me.  We had the windows down and I didn’t care if anyone heard me moan or scream or beg for more.  It was too good for me to stop.

That was the only time we were together.  After our marathon of an evening, his driver took us to the restaurant.  It was dark and empty.  Tasso fixed us a snack and playing over the speakers was “An Evening with Sade”.  The radio station would play an entire album late at night and call it “An Evening with….” That was the first time I heard, “Is it Crime” and I smiled to myself…knowing what we’d done bordered on criminal…knowing whatever he did to afford his luxury lifestyle was criminal…knowing that my web of lies to get out for the evening was criminal.  I was such a bad girl.

I got back to Erica’s house around 4:00 am.  I was exhausted and sore.  The next day I awoke to find bite marks all over my body.  We had feasted on each other and left evidence to prove it. I didn’t care.  I would find a way to cover my tracks.  I always did.

A few years ago, while working for hospice, I had the opportunity to pass through my old town in the upstate. His family’s Greek restaurant had been replaced by some franchised chain.  There was no trace of Tasso.  And even though it was one night, I will never forget my evening with him.

tasso

 (Photo credit, Pinterest)

The First Time I…

Summer, 1993.

It was a typical Saturday night.  I was between relationships and in between flings, and my roommates asked me to come with them to a party. At first, I was reluctant to go. I didn’t feel like getting ready for an evening out. But they were persistent, reminding me that my next “victim” could be there…waiting for me to have my way with him. I took the bait and before I knew it, we were on our way.

The party was across town at another college. It was packed.  There must have been about 80 people there, mostly girls.  The music was decent, but I wasn’t feeling the vibe. My roommates scurried over to a group of their friends and I found my way to a empty place on a worn out couch.  The place smelled of beer and I was planning my exit.  Quite honestly, I was pissed.  I would have been happier at home.

Just as I was about to flee the scene, I saw him.  Oooh, I saw him.  He walked in through the out door.  I sat my ass back down and watched him stride through the crowd.  I felt like a hunter stalking her prey. I envisioned all the naughty things I could do with him.  He was beautiful.  Tall and lean.  Broad shoulders.  Dimples.  Flawless skin.  I was doing a mental inventory of his attributes when some idiot spilled their drink on me.  Luckily, I was able to move quickly and only a little got on my skirt.  I was looking for a towel or napkins, when I felt a hand pull me over the side.

“Looks like you moved just in time.” he said.  It was HIM!  He had come to my rescue.  I felt my face flush. He was so incredibly handsome, that I felt nervous.

“Yes, I have quick reflexes.” I muttered.

“Yes, you do.  Let’s go into the kitchen and find you a towel”  He took hold of my hand and effortlessly guided me through the crowd into the kitchen.  Fumbling around in cabinets and drawers, he found a small tea towel.  He handed it to me and our eyes met.  We held the gaze until it became awkward. I dried my skirt and thanked him the towel.

The kitchen was becoming more and more crowded.  “Let’s get out of here.” he said.  “I don’t know why I came here tonight.  I don’t even like these kind of parties. I need some air.  Let’s go outside”

We walked out back and found a couple of lawn chairs.  He pulled them together and wiped my seat off before we sat down.  He extended his hand to me.

“Hi, my name is Courtney.” Courtney?  I’d never met a man named Courtney.  

“I am Tessa”

Still holding onto my hand, he pulled it up to his lips and kissed it.  “Nice to meet you, Tessa.” he grinned.  JESUS…he was handsome…and smooth.

“Nice to meet you, too.” I said.

We talked outside for a long time.  One of my roommates peeked through the door to check on me and I gave her the all good sign.  She giggled as she turned back inside.  She knew where this was headed.

But it didn’t go there.  Normally, I would have bagged and tagged this guy in a matter of hours. Drained the life force from his body and left him before dawn, with a smile.  But this was different.  There was a sincere connection.  I wanted to know him.  He wanted to know me.

“What are you doing tomorrow” he asked.

“I don’t have any plans.  How about you?” I said.

“I am taking you on a picnic.  Shall I pick you up around noon?”

“I’d love that.” I said.

“Good.  I will have the food.  Do you have a blanket we could use?” he asked.

I thought to myself…Me? Do I have a blanket for such occasions?  Don’t you know who I am?  I have a blanket to do whatever you need.  Wherever you want.  

Instead I answered, politely, “Yes.  I have a perfect blanket for a picnic.”

And he walked me back inside, helping me find my roommates.  We left soon after and there was a buzz about my new suitor.

My roommate Mary said, “You tramp!  You just had to pick the finest one in there, didn’t you? Damn he is hot.”  No lie…he really was.

Sunday arrived and we had a lovely picnic at a local park.  He’d picked up sandwiches and fruit and we ate in a shaded area close to the woods.  He was even more beautiful in the light of day.  I was looking demurely sexy in a sexy pink sundress with a plunging halter neckline and my long dark wavy hair spilled over my shoulders .  I could see that he liked my ensemble.  I could see that we really liked each other.

We shared our first kiss on the blanket as I anxiously anticipated what would happen next. But he didn’t make a move towards anything sexual.  I was a bit confused.  Most men would have made some sort of advance, given the setting and the chemistry between us. But he was different.

“I would like to take you to dinner, tonight” he said, touching my face.

“I would like that” I said.

“And I would like for you to stay with me, at my place afterwards.” he said.

I stared into his golden brown eyes and said, “I would like that, too”

He drove me back to my apartment as I nervously packed an overnight bag for my evening out. As we left, he took me by the hand, carrying my bag, and lead me to his car. As I was about to get in, he pinned me to the car with a passionate kiss.  It was so steamy that I almost lost my balance.

“I want you in the worst way” he whispered, as he kissed me some more.  I was dripping with desire.  I wanted him badly, too.  I would have gladly fucked him on that picnic blanket, or right there on the car, but I felt he had something else in mind.

Dinner was at a local Italian restaurant.  I don’t remember what I ate.  I just remember wanting it to be over.  Wanting to get back to his place.

We drove to the movie store (remember those?) and selected a movie to watch at his apartment, although I knew it wouldn’t even make it out of the case.

We got back to his place around 9:00.

And by 9:05, we were in his bed.  I wish I could remember each and every detail.  I wish that I could remember each move.  But what I do remember is the music playing in the background.  Courtney was a musician and a huge fan of jazz and soul.  He’d cued up a Luther Vandross album (on vinyl) for us to listen to.

I don’t remember how our clothes came off, or how one thing led to another.  I do remember the feel of his skin as he held me to his chest.  I remember the sliver of moonlight coming through his bedroom window that shone on his exquisite form.  I remember how he smelled.  I don’t recall the cologne, but it was subtle and sexy.  I remember him pulling me on top of him as he held my face in his hands and kissed me.  There was no rush for either of us to make the next move. When we did, I do remember how he felt as he entered me for the first time…filling all the space inside me…making me gasp in pleasure.  I recall how his hands grasped my hips as we partook of each other.

I do remember, with great detail, that was the night I fell in love.  For the very first time.  I was in love with someone.  Not lust.  Not sex.  Not saying the words to spare their feelings. I fell in love with this man.  I knew it. He knew it. I gave all of myself to him that night.  We made love for hours. He selflessly gave of himself.  We watched the sun rise together and I felt contentment unlike anything I’d experienced before.

We carried on for a few months in a state of absolute bliss. He was almost mystical in his seduction of my mind, soul and body.  No matter how often we were together, it felt new each time. Courtney will always be my first true love.

To this day, when I hear “So Amazing” by Luther Vandross, I am transported back to the time when I fell in love.  I am taken back to hearing and truly understanding those lyrics for the first time.  And it’s so amazing…

in-love

(photo credit, Pinterest)

Wonderland

elevator

My descent into the downward spiral of the rabbit hole was exhilarating.  I peeled off the mask I’d been wearing for seven years, finally recognizing my reflection in the looking glass.  It was me.  I had returned.  The darkness around me was a familiar place of refuge and I felt alive.

Greg continued his massage of my shoulders, slowly easing his hands towards my soft breasts.  He was gentle in his touch and I longed to kiss him again  Time was passing quickly and we couldn’t stay behind closed doors alone for much longer.  Someone was bound to notice and there would be talk.

Greg turned me around to face him.  “We should continue this later.  We don’t want to create any suspicion around here.”

I nodded in agreement.  He quietly unlocked the door and placed a chair under the vent he’d inspected.  “When you open the door, I will be on the chair pretending to diagnose your issue with the vent.  That should ward off any talk.”

He stood on the chair and as I moved towards the door. I noticed the bulge of his crisp khaki pants.  I paused as I walked by him, taking a moment to look up in his eyes seductively.  I casually opened the door and slid out of the office unnoticed by anyone.  He pretended to work with the vent for a few more minutes before leaving.

When I returned to my office, there was a note in my desk:

You name the time, and I will make time. Come see me in my office before you leave.  

Hmmm…Instructions.  I liked the tone of this note.  Around 4:50, I visited his office.  He was busy working on several projects, but welcomed me in.

“What are your plans for Friday night?’ he asked.

“I don’t really have any.  He is working nights and my son is staying over at a friend’s house.”

“Okay.  Could you stay out for a few hours?” he asked.

My face felt flushed.  It just dawned on me that I was about to dive in this pool.  I was about to plan this tryst with him.  I felt nervous at the thought of being intimate with someone new.  I’d brainwashed myself into monogamy and I began feel a slight moral dilemma.

“Is this too much, too soon Tess?” he asked.  I guess he could read my face.  He could see that I was struggling with making definite plans.

“No, it’s not.  I want this.  It’s not too soon…in fact it’s a bit late.  And yes, I can safely stay out until midnight”

He pondered his next comment.  “I am thinking we should meet at the Sheraton around 8:00.  I will get the room.  Just promise me this, if you change your mind, you will tell me and I will promise to do the same for you.”

I nodded in approval, “I don’t think I will back out, Greg. I don’t think Friday can get here fast enough for me.”

He grinned.  My LAWD the man was sexy.  It was only Tuesday.  How could I hold out until Friday?

The week moved on at its normal pace.  I was super-busy and so was he.  We would exchange niceties in the halls and spoke in morning meeting.  We both understood that we needed to WAIT for Friday.  We understood the intense heat between us and knew if we found ourselves alone for any amount of time that we would go too far.  That couldn’t happen at work.

Friday arrived and I felt like backing out.  I didn’t have a change of heart, but I was nervous about our encounter.  I somehow pushed through the day.  When the evening arrived, I took my time getting ready.  My son was with friends.  My husband at work.  And I had the house to myself.  I took a long, hot shower.  I made sure my skin was perfectly smooth.  I prepared myself as if I were going out on a first date.

I had just received a cell phone for work a few days prior.  Greg already had one and that’s how we communicated.  He called me around 7:30 to give me the room number.My heart jumped when the phone rang.  I knew it was him calling with the location.  His voice was deep and sexy, “Hello, Tess.  I am here.  The room is perfect, come on when you’re ready.  It’s room 719”

I did some last minute preparations and headed out. It took about 10 minutes to get to the hotel.  I arrived and the door to the room was ajar.  I knocked lightly as I opened it.  The lights were out and there were candles lit.  I looked down and noticed a trail of clothes on the floor.  Shoes. Socks. Pants. Shirt.  I followed the trail and saw him standing at the end.  He had on nothing but black boxers and that devilish smile.

I walked towards him and he pulled me close.  My face rested on his warm, toned chest.  He smelled divine. His skin was smooth and I rested my head on his heart as he stroked my hair. He pulled my face to face his.  His eyes smiled as he looked into mine. He planted a kiss on me that made me swoon.  I literally felt weak in the knees.

He pulled me close again, as he began removing my clothes.  Piece by piece.  He turned me around, with my back to him, as he unzipped my little black dress.  He carefully slid it over my head, leaving me there in my (matching) ivory and black lace bra and panties. He ran his hands over my back and carefully unfastened my bra.  He slowly pulled it away from my body as my breasts spilled out. He turned me to face him again as he looked at my body.  He kissed me as he guided me towards the crisp white bed.

“Lay down and get comfortable.” he instructed.  He sat next to me and massaged my body, circling my breasts, softly rubbing my legs, tickling my abdomen as he stroked it like a feather.  He kissed me as he touched the place between my legs.  I was still wearing my panties and he teased me by tracing the edges of the elastic with his fingertips.  I wanted him to rip them off and fuck me sore.  I wanted him to unleash what I’d held onto for seven years.  I wanted him badly.

He stood up and pulled my panties off.  They were moist from my arousal.  He dropped to his knees and buried his face in my thighs, exploring my slit with his tongue.  I whimpered and moaned in delight.  He slid a finger into my slippery place as he probed for the sweet spot.  Once he found it, I came immediately.  He stood up and I sat up, dropping to my knees on the floor, taking in all of his length in one movement.  He almost lost his balance as he felt for the bed under him.

I worshipped his ample cock.  I licked the shaft slowly, deliberately circling the head with my tongue before taking it deep.  I sucked softly and then aggressively, like the greedy slut I was.  I teased him by only taking in the tip and then taking it as far as it would go down my throat.  I don’t think he’d ever received anything like that.  He was so hard.  As much as I wanted to swallow his load, I also wanted to feel him deep within me.

I stood up and he pulled me on top of him.  His cock was slick with my saliva and it easily slid inside me.  I moved my body down onto his, feeling how he filled me.  I started to grind and buck, taking his cock deeper with each stroke.  I found myself going faster and faster, overcome with pleasure as we headed to orgasm.  We came together and I fell onto the bed beside him.  We both just lay there…in awe of what had just transpired.

“You okay, Tess?” he asked.  He was slightly out of breath.  I replied, “I am better than I have been in forever.”

He pulled me onto his chest and brushed the hair out of my face.  Looking at me, he said, “That was amazing.  I want more of you.  I want to have you as many times as I can tonight, you feel so good.”  I was speechless, as I was still recovering from the high.  But I found myself morphing back into the naughty girl from years past.

We took a candlelit bubble bath together and fucked again.  He took me from behind that time.  He filled every space inside me.  As he was about to unload, he pulled my shoulders back to edge in as far as he could.  He let out a primal growl as he filled me.  I loved it.  I wanted him rough.  I wanted him to use my body for his pleasure.  I wanted to give him something he didn’t get at home.  I wanted to be slut he needed me to be.

We carried on throughout the night.  Around midnight, we both got ready to leave.  He helped me put on my dress, but refused to let me put on my panties.  He said I should keep them off, as he found it sexy.  I was happy to oblige.  He walked me to the elevator and pushed the button for the penthouse.  I was confused.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Just taking a ride, that’s all.  Gives us a few more minutes together” And with that comment, he walked over to me, slipped his hand up my dress.  Pushing two fingers in my hole, he fingered me on the elevator for a couple of floors.  He slipped them out and put them in my mouth, running them around my lips.  I could taste my sex and his seed.  He then pinned me to the wall and kissed me.  “Now we have tasted each other together.  Until next time, baby.”  He kissed my cheek and walked off the elevator as it we had just reached the ground floor.  He walked to the left.  I walked out to the right.

And as I made my way to the car I thought about the evening and once again, I felt weak in the knees...

 

(photo credits, Pinterest)

The Rabbit Hole

alice

May 2002.

I was in a place of transition.  I’d just been recruited to work in a director’s position at a local retirement home.  The place had a horrible reputation, but the new ownership assembled a strong team of experienced managers tasked with turning it around.  I loved it there.  The owners worked day and night to make improvements to enhance the lives of the residents.  We all worked together to make a difference.

For the most part, I liked everyone I worked with.  The administrator was kind and focused.  The director of nursing was great at leading the clinical team.  The social worker and I immediately bonded over music and movies.  And then there was the director of environmental services.  I was very fond of him.  His name was Greg.

I met him the day of my interview.  He was walking out as I was walking into the building.  He smiled as he opened the door for me, “Come on in.  How may I help you?”  His smile was sexy and I recognized a certain look in his eye.  It’s the look that you share with others in your tribe.  It’s a glimmer that lets you know that they “see” you also.  The real you.

I shyly smiled as I walked by him.  “I am here to see Brian.” I said.

“You must be the one he told us about!  Are you here for the interview?” he asked.

I nodded.  Greg smiled as he walked me towards Brian’s office.  He knocked on the door as he opened it and said, “She’s here.  The one you were telling us about.” Brian opened the door and welcomed me in.  Greg shook my hand and said, “It was really nice meeting you.  I hope to see you around here soon.” I sat down with Brian and sailed through the interview.  He immediately made me an offer and I accepted, on the spot.

From the beginning, there was tension between Greg and I.  It was an unspoken air of sensuality that existed when were in each other’s presence.  Although we didn’t have time to talk often, the conversations we did have were charged with an underlying tone of mutual attraction.  It was in the eyes.  When our eyes met, there was a certain electricity that sparked from the connection.  We both dismissed it.  After all, he was married.  I was married.  And neither of us wanted to venture too far off of our ascribed paths.

As the days went on we became closer, often talking about our kids and our lives at home.  We had sons the same age, who attended the same elementary school.  We worked hard at keeping our interactions professional but there was still tension in the air.  Occasionally, we would forget our obligations and shamelessly flirt with each other.  Then one of us would reel it back in.  We would take a couple of days off from chatting, to cool down, but eventually we would end up in the same place.

One sultry afternoon in May, I called him to my office.  The air conditioner vents were blowing hot air and it was quickly becoming uncomfortable.  He stood on a chair and checked the vents.  I looked at his form as he stood there, inches away from me.  I fantasized about facing him, and slowly unzipping his khaki pants as I looked in eyes; pleasuring him right there in my office.  I was lost in my thoughts when he said, “It’s electrical.”

I was caught off guard.  “What?” I stammered.

“The issue.  I think something may have tripped the breaker because, there’s no air coming out at all now. It’s happened in a couple of the other offices.  We’ve already called in a HVAC company to fix it.”

“Thank you.  It’s already too hot in here for me.  What should I do?”

He grinned.  “I have a fan tucked away in my office for such occasions.  I will go get it for you. Do you need anything else?”

At that moment, our eyes connected and there was no going back.  It was happening.  I could feel it.  He could feel it.  I stared deeply into his brown eyes and said, “Yes.  I do. But it can wait until you bring the fan.”

He held my gaze for several seconds before walking back to his office.  I felt a tinge of nervousness deep in my belly.  I looked around my office and began visualizing where this would take place.  Over the desk?  On the table?  On the floor?  Does the lock work on my door?  Do my bra and panties match today?  Oh shit, did I shave my legs this morning? As my mind raced, the door opened as he walked in with the fan.

He stared into my eyes and said, “Where do you want it?” He meant the fan, but I knew there was another meaning to his question.  He knew I knew it.  I nervously sat behind my desk and said, “how about on the table?”

He plugged in the fan and turned it towards me.  He sat in the chair across from my desk and said, “What else did you need, Tess?”

Oh shit, I thought.  Not prepared.  At a loss for words.  What to do?  I’d not stepped off the path of fidelity in my sexless marriage for almost seven years.  No man, other than my cruel bastard of a husband, had touched my skin in seven years.  I had not felt like a woman in seven years. I was so hungry for Greg’s touch, but I was bound to another.  As I struggled with an answer, Greg stood up and walked towards the door.

“Don’t go.” I said.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I am just locking the door. So tell me, what is it you want from me, Tess?” his tone was direct.

Keep in mind that for seven years I’d been in a relationship where I could not be my wanton self.  I worked hard to bury that part of me in exchange for the perceived comforts of the Stepford life I was encouraged to live. Plain and simple, I’d all but lost my game.  The old me would have spun a yarn, filled with innuendo that would have already had us in the throes of passion.  The new me didn’t know how to navigate this part of the journey. But slowly, I found the words.

“In my last job, the director of environmental services, was known to give a great massage.  My co-workers would call him to their offices on stressful days and he would work all of the knots out of their shoulders.  I never got one, but he said those were tricks of the trade and that all environmental directors are good with their hands. Is that true, Greg?  Are you good with your hands?” I coyly asked.

He walked towards my desk, stepping behind me, he moved the hair from my shoulders as leaned down and whispered, “I don’t know.  I will let you be the judge of that.”

He gently stroked the back of my neck as he moved his hands towards my shoulders.  I’d not been touched there for so long that I sighed out loud.  He began kneading my tense muscles and I relaxed into the massage.  “How is that?” he asked

“It’s wonderful.” I said.  My voice was breathy and faint.

He moved his hands up toward my neck, gently caressing my throat as he moved them back to my shoulders.  I was lost in his touch.  I could tell he wanted to feel my breasts, but he kept his hands at a respectable distance.

“What are my limits, Tess?  How much can I do?” he asked.

I stood and turned to face him, looking him in the eye.

My voice was steady and sure, “You have no limits with me, Greg”

He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me towards his mouth, passionately kissing me he said, “I want you.  I’ve wanted you since I met you.”

“I know.  I’ve wanted you too.  But I’ve been trying to do what’s right.”  I said

He nodded. “I know.  I don’t want anyone to get hurt, but I want you, Tess.  I fantasize about us all the time.  I don’t care if it’s only once.  I just want you.”

And that was the day I chose the red pill.  I swallowed it whole without persuasion.  I swallowed it whole on my own accord.  I knew what I was doing.

That was the day I ventured down the rabbit hole.

(To be continued…)

red pill

 

 

Across the Universe

making love

Jake was my biggest temptation.  Seeing him again was risky, but worth it to me.  We planned to meet on a Friday afternoon after lunch. Wednesday he texted me and asked if we could talk.  I worried that he needed to reschedule.  I wondered if he was having second thoughts about going further.  Reluctantly, I called him.

“How are you?” he asked.

“I am well.  Looking forward to Friday.  How about you?” I said.

He paused, “I cannot wait to see you.  But I need you to do something for me.” His tone was almost playful.

“Sure.  What do you need?” I was expecting him to ask me to dress up in another cosplay ensemble, maybe a naughty nurse?

“I need to get inside your head.  We’ve experimented and explored so many things.  Our passion is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  But I want to go further.  I want know your deepest, darkest fantasy.  The one you won’t tell anyone about.”

I was speechless.  I didn’t see this conversation coming.  I didn’t know what to say.  Before I could fumble a response he said, “Let me give you something you’ve always desired.  Tell me.  There is no judgment.  There is no shame.  Tell me what you want”

And hearing his voice.  Knowing how I felt for him.  Knowing that we were connected on a metaphysical level neither of us understood.  Knowing how deeply I trusted him, allowed me to finally verbalize my deepest, darkest fantasy.  It’s one I’d attempted to share with others, but never truly felt comfortable revealing with anyone.

“I have a rape fantasy.  Some call it consensual non-consent.  I want you to take me in a manner that almost makes you uncomfortable…fucking me as you please…making me do whatever it is that you want.  Not listening to my pleas…disregarding my protests.  I want to be consumed by you.”

He confessed that he suspected as much.  We had been edging towards intense BDSM play and he could sense that need in me.  “We need a safe word, for both of us.  If we become uneasy at any time, either of us can say it.”

Jake and I always discussed safe words, so this was not new.  But this time, he also gave himself the option of a safe word, in case it was beyond his own boundaries.  That was completely different.  This was not a typical scene.  This was not our lighthearted role play.  This was going to be unlike anything we’d experienced together.

Friday arrived and I was a nervous wreck.  I didn’t know what to expect. He texted me at noon and gave me his room number.  He was working until 1:30, so we made arrangements to meet at 2:00.  I arrived at his hotel right at 2:00.  Just as I pulled in, he texted me, “I am stuck at work, in the middle of a security drill.  Should be there in 20 minutes.  Get a key from the front desk.  I’ve called them and told them you are coming.  So sorry.  I will be there as soon as I can. Remember, red is the safe word”

I felt a sigh of relief.  Even though I’d asked him for this fantasy, I was scared.  Aroused, but frightened.  At least, I would have a chance to mentally prepare for our time together before he got there.  I retrieved the key from the desk and went to room 204.

I opened the door and walked inside.  The curtains were drawn making it dark. The beds were freshly made and I saw his open suitcase on the luggage rack. Even though he had to be at work at 4:30 am, he still took the time to neatly fold his clothes.  He was a meticulous creature of habit.  I put my purse down on the table, kicked off my heels and laid down on the bed, taking a quick respite before his arrival.  The pillow smelled like him.  I pushed my face deeper in the pillow, taking it all in, when I felt a hand on the back of my head holding my face down.

He had been hiding in the room the entire time.  My heart raced and I felt a sense of panic. (And I confess to you..I loved it!)

Holding me face down in the pillow he yanked my pants off, destroying the zipper.  He never said a word.  He reached up and ripped my lacy blue panties off, in one motion.  I felt his bare skin on mine as his hard cock grazed my leg.  He grabbed a handful of hair, pulling my face out of the pillow and completely pulling me off the bed.  I lost my balance and scurried to stand.  Still holding onto my hair, he pushed me down to my knees and forced his immensely large cock down my throat.  I wasn’t prepared and it caused me to gag.  He pushed ever deeper.  For a moment, I couldn’t breathe and my eyes watered as he brutally fucked my throat.

When he had his fill, he pulled me to my feet and pushed me down, face first, onto the bed. Quickly spreading my legs with his, he filled my hole with his cock.  He stuffed himself inside as far as he could.  Holding me by my ass, he fingers penetrated my flesh as he rammed my cunt violently.  I was beyond aroused by how forcefully he took me.

“You like this, don’t you slut?  Answer me or I will make it hurt.”  I quickly answered yes and he pulled himself out of me.  He rolled me over to my back and forced my knees up to my shoulders.  He held me wide open as he began fucking me again.  I was slick with desire, loving this torment. His thrusts penetrated every inch of my chamber, hitting the end every time.  Without word or hesitation, Jake pulled his large cock out of my ravaged cunt and forced it into my ass.  He assaulted my tight hole over and over, taking it without permission or remorse.  I gasped in pain, which seemed to fuel his desire.

“Take that cock. Take it all. Take it all, slut.” he growled as he pummeled me.  I could tell he enjoyed seeing his large cock fuck my ass.  I was completely vulnerable as he had his wicked way with me.  He slid three fingers inside my swollen lips, finger fucking me as he took my ass.  I groaned with pleasure and soon he filled me with his load.  He collapsed on top of me and we both lay there, silent.  I didn’t know what to say and it hurt to move.  After a few minutes, he got up, took me by the hand and led me to the shower.

“Was that what you wanted, baby?  Are you okay?” he asked.  His brooding eyes showed deep concern as he softly stroked my face.  I nodded, speechless from what we’d just done.

He stepped into the shower and guided me in.  He lathered and washed every part of my body.  When I attempted to reciprocate, he stopped me, “this is your time” he whispered.  He carefully washed and rinsed my hair.  He then helped me out of the shower and wrapped me up in his robe.

I nuzzled myself into the shape of his form as we took a short nap.  I awoke to him massaging my sweet spot, demanding my orgasm.  We made love for the remainder of our time together, losing ourselves in each movement.  There were few words spoken between us, as they were unnecessary.  Our communication was on a spiritual level.  We bore our souls that day, sharing one of the most acutely intense experiences I’ve ever encountered.

The evening rapidly arrived and it was time for me to leave.  That was the last time I saw Jake.  We spoke a few times after that day.  We even made plans to get together again, but schedules got in the way.  I went with a new phone company that required I change my number.  I toiled with texting him to give him my new number.  In the end, I decided not to, and I didn’t keep his contact information.  And I’ve struggled with that decision.  If the Universe feels we should reconnect, it will find a way to happen.  It always does.

The last text I received from him before I changed my number, was a link to a song with this message “When I miss you, I listen to this.  Do the same for me.”

He was born to love me.  I was raised to be his fool.