Incognito

Birds of a feather flock together…

Great minds think alike…

Two peas in a pod…

Two of a kind…

And I am sure there are dozens more cliches out there to explain why we pair off or group ourselves with like-minded people.  Maybe it’s a shared interest.  A shared belief.  A lifestyle.  A religion.  Whatever it is, we tend to surround ourselves with people who are similar to us.

But what if your true self…who you are at your core…is shrouded?  Hidden.  Neatly tucked behind the corners of your enigmatic smile and charming personality (not that you are a maniacal serial killer or anything) and it’s something that those in your circle know nothing of?  Does that mean you are living a lie, or is it self-preservation?  Is it being a private person?  Does anyone really need to know your private self?

Does the universe find a way of revealing you to those who can see and understand the real you?

Here’s my point…

No matter where I go…I find that there’s always at least one in the crowd who sees me as I really am.  The whole person.  Not just the focused career-driven woman that takes charge and gets shit done…No, not only the sweet single mother who bakes cookies with her kids…No.  Not even the lady who will let you ahead of her in line, if you only have a few items.  NO.  Yet, there are a few who see all of that and still see the man (woman) behind the curtain.

I’ve come to a conclusion that it’s simply the law of attraction…that “like attracts like” and those who reveal us are also shrouded.  (Stay with me, I promise…I have a point).  I keep this other side of me, this obsidian side, with all of my trysts and licentious behavior, buried deep behind a lovely, but far from perfect, facade.  And yet still, a few can see me.  And in turn, I can see them.  It’s funny…it’s almost like there’s a label written in invisible ink across my forehead, that can only be deciphered by those with the same insignia.

This came to mind today at work.  I am working with a charming, take charge woman in her mid/late 40’s.  By all accounts, she is professional, smart, pretty and kind.  She knows her line of business and expects those around her to perform at their best.  She’s a strong leader.  Yet, I could see her label.  And I think she could see mine.

Like me, she prefers a submissive role in relationships.  She also has a string of past lovers that she entertains on occasion.  She has an free-spirited nature that spills into her private life and I suspect she is a bit wild and adventurous.  I have a sneaky feeling she’s in to role play and bondage.  To look at her, you would not see it.  But for those of us with a different perception, it’s obvious.

How is that?  is there some code word, or subliminal message in covert mental Morse code that alerts us to small nuances that we recognize within ourselves?  I don’t have the answer.  But this happens to me frequently.  The drill instructor I described a few posts back, was the first to name it as the law of attraction.  Within moments of meeting me, he could see exactly who I was.  He could sense exactly what I needed.  There was no judgment.  No agenda.  He just knew.  It’s a bit scary and comforting at the same time.  There’s an acceptance and camaraderie knowing that you are in like company.

Which brings me to…

You can run, but you can’t hide.  And as much as I strive to be incognito, there is always someone there who knows who I really am.

I think Anais Nin says it perfectly, “I take pleasure in my transformations. I look quiet and consistent, but few know how many women there are in me.”

women inside

10 comments

  1. One of my greatest fears is running across someone that knows the “real” me without actually knowing me. i often wonder if those that i work with can see that side of me that i try so hard to keep hidden. i, too, believe in the laws of attraction. So far, at least as far as i can tell, NO ONE i work with sees my authentic self. i hope to keep it that way. Great writing, Tess, as always. ❤ you my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, friend. I worry that those who recognize the naughty darkness within me may not be as discreet as I am…so I never really admit to anything. I leave the door open for them to talk and share, but I try to maintain a distance when it comes to my life. I completely get it!
      The struggle is real, Gorgeous!
      Hugs,
      -Tess

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can really relate to this. Sometimes, I’ll find myself in a crowded place (i.e. an airport, a restaurant, the sales rack, &etc) and I’ll see someone who strikes me as a like-minded individual. I don’t know what it is about them, maybe the way the carry themselves or the way they respond to people. Whatever it is, they’ll often meet my gaze and give me a knowing smile in return. Definitely can’t hide, ha. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the comments, Love! And yes…it’s that glance. That knowing grin that is like the secret handshake that lets them know, you are “in” the same circle. It can happen anywhere.
      And isn’t a privilege to recognize it?
      Thanks again for stopping by!
      -Tess

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post, Tessa. I definitely believe there is an underlying stream of consciousness that flows below the surface of many of us and that there are those who can recognize it. For a long time I was embarrassed about my darker secrets but as I’ve grown into my thirties, I’ve slowly come to acknowledge and accept those parts of my persona. It’s enabled my wife and I to have a much deeper and richer connection.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for commenting, Randy. I am happy you and yours are enjoying a deeper connection. I have also found this closeness in sharing all of me, with my One. There is such freedom in that acceptance and love.
      I appreciate you stopping by!
      Tess

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Tessa,
    I don’t see a contact page here. Could I request you to visit my and reach out via my contact page. There’s something i’d like to collaborate with you on. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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